Monday, October 26, 2009

Unceasingly (Little Mottos)

Never regret something that once made you smile
Remember tears need to come every once in a while
Remind your friends how much you care
That if they ever need someone, you'll be there
You know they'd do the same for you
Each time you thank them their love grows too

Little mottos, tiny ponderings
Scribbled sentences of my mind's wonderings
Favorite sayings and things to live by
If you ask how I'm so happy I'll say this is why

I laugh. Unceasingly.
Laughing is like hugs, fixes everything
Cure. Period. Laughter is amazing.

I write. Unceasingly.
My passion, my everything.
Whenever I need to sort feelings out
Or let them free and let my heart shout
I turn to my pen
Again, and again.

I SING! Unceasingly.
Life is a musical
Music rejuvinates the soul
One can only smile, bright eyed, when this wonderful thing
Comes from themselves
From inside their own heart

I believe. Unceasingly.
Believe it will all turn out ok,
Even when I fall apart
I know healing will come to any broken heart
Believing makes up most of my hope, which keeps me glad

I love. Unceasingly.
Sisters, friends, aquantences, passions
Life...
I never stop loving, no not once
And I tell those I love of my care when I get the chance

I LIVE. Unceasingly.
Really and truly give it my all
To enjoy life, have a ball
All these things I do Unceasingly
A few things that make me...

Laugh. Write. Sing. Believe. Love. Live.
Unceasingly. Definition: constant, continuous, without stopping, always
That is how I live, how I stay happy

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I Am Today

I Am Today
Verse One:
Don't think, just feel, don't feel just do
Be someone else because it sucks to be you
Nothing matters, no one cares
That's just life, full of tears [like 'rip', not 'cry']
It doens't matter how you live
Soon you wont have much else to give
Poppycock! There's always something more there
To change your life you must be the one to dare!

Verse Two:
These are the thoughts inside my head
Not just trite words that I prefer to be said
All experiences are what help make me
No nonsense drama can overtake me
I'll write my book, it's my pen
And I will never need complain
Everything that happens I know I need
You may call me a dreamer, but I don't care!

Chorus:
You are today, you make or break it
Though some may say it's best to fake it
All these colors are thrown at you
You must choose what next to do
You hold the brush, this is your painting
You command the picture!

Bridge:
But I too have those moments when life brings me down
And I feel I can't go any lower in the ground
Then you ask how I am, with an "are you ok" and I respond
I am today!

Ending verse/ altered chorus:
I am today, I make or break it
I can promise you I never fake it
I live each day try to make things right
The artwork changes with each new light
I hold the brush, this is my painting
I command the picture.

[Chorus again]

AND NOW!..... for the duet version, because Gordo said he might come back for this one

I Am Today [Duet Version]

Verse One:
(Person 1) Don't think, just feel, don't feel, just do
Be someone else because it sucks to be you
Nothing matters, no one cares
That's just life, full of tears [again, not 'teers']
It doesn't matter how you live
Soon you wont have much else to give
(Person 2) Poppycock! There's always something more there
To change your life you must be the one to dare!

Verse Two:
(Person 2) These are the thoughts inside my head
Not just trite words that I prefer to be said
All experiences are what help make me
No nonsense drama can overtake me
(Both Peoples) I'll write my book, it's my pen
And I will never need complain
Everything that happens I know I need
You may call me a dreamer, but I don't care!

Chorus:
(Person 2) You are today, you make or break it
Though some may say it's best to fake it
All these colors are thrown at you
You must choose what next to do
You hold the brush, this is your painting
You command the picture!

Bridge:
(Person 1) I still have those moments when life brings me down
And I feel I can't go any lower in the ground
Then you ask how I am, with an "are you ok" and I respond
I am today!

Ending Verse/ Altered Chorus:
(Both Peoples) I am today, I make or break it
I can promise you I never fake it
I live each day try to make things right
The artwork changes with each new light
I hold the brush, this is my painting
I command the picture

[Chorus again, both people]

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Hello Again

I think about you all the time
Time. If feels like it's been so long.
I wonder if you still trust me,
Still remember that I care
Care. More like carelessly. That's exactly how I let our friendship run through.
I never took the time to say those simple words to you...

I have a very small knowledge of how you feel today.
I remember when we talked a lot, and now I have this to say:
Hello again. I'm sorry we don't speak much.
I miss your pretty smile, your laughter, our good times.
What I'll try to say to you in not in prewritten lines
So I'm sorry if I stumble, or if this doesn't flow very well
Because exactly what I think now is a little hard to tell

I know it's an understatement
When I say you've been through a lot.
You're strong, and ya know...
There will always be a spot
In my friends and in my heart for you
I don't really know what to tell you, but I know this much is true:
I miss you. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long.
I love you friend, I'm sorry I've been gone.
<3

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Adventure with Mr. Smooth and the Indescribable

This week has been super fun so far! On Monday and Tuesday we had consultation schedule at school, so we got out early. After I ate lunch I was heading to the band room, I turned the corner and... Oh hi Mr. Smooth! I gave him a hug, noticing Indescribable was with him, and then he kinda kept walking while still holding on to me. "Come with us!" (Oh, and this friend of Mr. Smooth's nickname is because he's just.. un-name-able, can't describe the guy, he's way cool though.)
Indescribable agreed "Yes I was just about to ask you to come myself."
"Oh, um ok! Where are we going?"
"To make TShirts" [Indescribable designed tshirts for drumline, they're pretty legit! :)]

So I was kinda sorta kindnapped, but I went willingly so not really. It was just spur of the moment. Really really spur of the moment. But, twas fun!
Indescribable had taken the middle seat out of his ...minivan(?) I asked him about it and he responded:

"It's so there's more room to party [pause...] interpret that how you will."
"Oooooooook!" Haha :)

We got the TShirts and Indescribable found some really swasome sunglasses, but he didn't end up buying them. They were pretty cool though.
Then we went back to the school...

Indescribable: "I'm drinking and driving! Hah!" [Don't worry, it was only soda... as far as I know.... ;)]
The graphics teacher wasn't there... then we went to Indescribable's house [picking up a free recliner on the way.. pretty sweet awesome right??] and had potstickers and fries.... yes, potstickers. And fries. Together. Shows the utterly funny randomness that is Indescribable. We watched some funny vids that Indescribable recorded, including one of himself and Mr. Smooth on the coolio raft they made. Motor and all! Except the motor made it so they need to license it, lame sauce.. though I don't know if they actually will... maybe eventually.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Golden Ignominy

She descends the steps of the prison
Arrayed in beauty, that glittering symbol upon her
And though she knows of the judgment and scorn
That came when they knew of her baby born
Her pride and confidence shine forth.

There she stands on the scaffold
Some silently staring
Some murmuring, glaring
She has prepared herself for this
And takes it all in.

Then he sees her
And she him
She, grateful for the crowd between them
Soon realizes she cannot avoid their meeting again.
Alone.

While her fear lingers
This mystery man curls his fingers
His temper he has practiced to own.
Yet learning the story of this maiden so fair
His revengeful voice sounds
He will be known!

As she stepped back into life
He shadowed behind searching for a clue
No one else knowing she was his wife
She fears for the other...
The father of her child
What’s a girl to do?

He finds the culprit
A penitent town minister
Now that he knows it, he’ll use it against her.

Or maybe
The revenge doesn’t regard her at all
Maybe it’s only the minister he feels must fall.
So pinching and prying he tortures that poor heart
It already hurt, the minister’s hand over it from the start.

During this ministers mutilation
Is the growth of the child, a strange creation
Outwardly perfect, beautiful, hence - Pearl
Though her actions portray her as some sort of elf-girl.

Toddler chanting
Revenge Aflame
She later visits
Who’s to blame?
Minister’s heart seething
Husband deformed
Her feelings still linger
Do his?
He’s torn.

Torn between her
His heart
His position
Should he run away?
Just avoid the collision?

This torn heart he has is attached to his people
The crowd who intently listens under the steeple
He knows if he doesn’t first detach himself from them, his heart will only tear more.

Final day.
End his preaching.
Yet with a flare
He’s still teaching!

Secret out.
Emotions run about.
His heart can’t take in any longer
Relieving that anguish didn’t make him much stronger.

Away from this world he ascends
Fully repented
He’s made amends.

Now what of she with that glitter letter?
For years she disappeared, no one met her
She returns later, once the story has simmered
But without the child which shimmered
And thus ends the tale of the Scarlet Letter
Though in that town no one would forget her.

I wrote this for an English project. Obvs, for the classic novel "The Scarlet Letter"

Forget hugs...

I'm going to attack you next time I see you!!



That's how I feel whenever I think about seeing any of my good friends. I just want to run up to them and give them a HUGENORMOUS hug! I love this pic, btw, I think it's so super duper uberdeedoober cute! Major hug attacking. Awesome.

Anywhoosen, life has been getting easier lately. A little less confuzzling, I think I've finally figured everything out. And of course, Scales helped, again =)

Her and I were talking in Weights the other day and she mentioned that she thinks a crush and liking someone are different things.... Here, on a scale of less feeling to more feeling:

1. Crush
2. Like
3. [or 2.5... it fits in here somewhere] Friend love
4. In love, but 'puppy love', or 'teenage love'. Not the absolute mostest. That's the next one...
5. In love. True love. The mostest. What you'd feel for a spouse, and no one else.

Scales helped me with just the first two, I'd figured out the others before. That helped me be a little less confuzzled... [thanks Bert!] here's the stats: 3 likes, and 2 crushes. Same people as the before 5.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Still Aflame

I write to you again as I read over those words
I did "silently walk away"
But I was too thick to see
How could I have forgotten, even for a second
What you mean to me?

I know I got caught up in life
I'm nowhere close to perfect
Why didn't I realize your hand was "outstretched still"?
Until your hand had dropped it hardly crossed my mind
And when I found what happened
I wished I would have noticed the whole time.

These words I've read over and over
I have them memorized...
That stopper which you made to extend the story of our lives
I didn't think that story would read quite this way
How do I feel about it?
It's hard to say

You brought out my passion for writing
For that I'll be ever in debt
You gave my life joy again when I had lost it
How much you helped me you don't even know, I bet

You lit up my life, and that fire you lit
Is still aflame in me, it never quit.

But your yearning heart, I forgot to see
Truly 'beating only for the thought of you and me"
I have this to ask:
What music has set you free?

I've let your outstretched hand sink
And with myself I'm not too happy
Because I made you think
"The flame has gone out in her"
So yours drifted to ash
I now wish I could find one flicker
To rekindle the fire that you thought clashed.

But if not...
I'll adjust my fire
Make this friendship a great one
My next hope is that you will as well
What the next page will read I cannot tell

Maybe the best way for me to be...
Is find a way to change my heart
And set it free...

Friday, October 2, 2009

My Box

I wrote this in seminary today, we were likening stuff.. gotta love Woodward's class =)
It's not my best by any means...

My life is like a box of chocolates
Overall, it's really good,
But every once in a while
I run into a nut that's hard to get through

These tough spots aren't ever all bad
They're meant to be there
[But that doesn't make them any easier to get through]
They contribute to the overall goodness of
My box

I like the dark chocolates...
The richer, more real parts of
My box

Sometimes I bite into something so good
A surprise, I didn't expect this...
Caramel, so sweet, so.... great
You are the caramel of
My box

All flavors
All tough spots
All the sweetness
I love my box ^_^

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Shadowfly

written Sept. 28, 2009

A butterfly
Colorful, happy.
Bringing joy to everyone she flies by
Flutter here
Flutter there
She discovers new things where ere she goes

Somethings make her shine bright
Others worry her
And cause her to lose her glow
But she continues fluttering

Happy with how she makes others smile
Flattered by the care they give her
Laughter, as she flutters through life.
She continues fluttering.

But sometimes when the dimmed glow turns
Even darker...
A Shadowfly she feels she has become
Torn.
Between the sun, sky, stars, and air
All these things she needs to live
She lives for them

Air
Shadowfly needs this the most
Though sometimes she doesn't appreciate it's presence
She cannot survive without it

Stars
Though she may not notice one star or another
She sees the glory they make together
And every day, she sees at least one's individual brightness.
The power of one star is immense

Sun
The most obvious in her life
Shadowfly is thankful, ever so much
For the Son

Sky
It surrounds her
Is always there
As she
Continues fluttering

Butterfly...
now Shadowfly
Torn
Any moment she could become dust
And one more blow
Would scatter her sad remnants
Forever
But she continues fluttering

Fluttering
Ever so delicately
Still trying to share what flow she has
With those she loves.
And Shadowfly keeps on fluttering.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I can't wait....

... so far so great! My sister's are watching Sonny with a Chance, so I decided to put what I hear as my title. Not that it's totally irrelevant, the song talks about how she can't wait for the rest of life because so far, it's been awesome. And this is so true for me! I feel very blessed to have as good of a life as I do. My friends are amazing, my hobby never ceases to make me happy, and life all around is just... well - so far so great! :)

So, we had a marching comp. today. I was just expecting to have some fun, cause I LOVE performing, our show is so so awesome! But I wasn't really expecting what happened.. scratch that, I wasn't expecting what happened at all! We march on, of course that's when the adrenaline rush starts, I'm not really really nervous, mostly just excited, but here we go. We perform, I'm still not perfect at the show, and I drop my swing flag.. OOPS! But the show felt awesome. The ending was ammmmazing. :)

And guess what?! We totally dominated! We won
Best music
Best percussion
Best COLORGUARD [oh yeah!!! :D]
Best visual effect and....
1ST PLACE!!
We swept it. AmazingnessOCITY with a double capital OCITY [and a half on wheels in three different languages and ten quarter eighths of a half with mac'n' cheese and a but wouldn't that make the jello jealous? and a whale mixed in there somewhere.. and I forgot most of it :P]

Later some of us had a movie party at Z's house. We watched Forever Strong. I had never seen it before, and I'd heard it was good. Guess what? It is :)
--------------------------------------
I like to flirt. Hey, who doesn't? [I was gonna say "sorry if that bugs anyone" but I don't think that's necessary because.. really.. who would it bug?] It's just fun. Makes me smile, and laugh and all. Though most would argue it's not that hard to get me to smile and laugh, as I do it pretty often. Well, it means I'm happy. Good for me :)
That was a little tangent I just decided to blurt in here. Ees for fun.
--------------------------------------
After watching Forever Strong, Mr. Smooth, Osborn, and Gladiater [he picked his name, it's Sc~, you know, cause he's a glad person in general] started throwing a football around. Of course, tackling insued. Ju~ got fed up with it and stole the ball, people pretended Mr. Smooth had it.. or something.. I was a little confuzzled.. but anyway, I was sitting next to Mr. Smooth and they're like "Ch~ has it!" and they dive at him. He ducks or something.. somehow they ended up behind him.. I then call out "Hey! I'm not a football." Hehe.....^_^ Then Mr. Smooth said "Well kinda, I mean there are always guys fighting over you." I respond with "They're not fighting... yet." :P

Speaking of, I was talking to BluntGuitarMan today about stuff... and he said there are at *least* 12 guys who like me. Six if which are in band... Ok, so I know three of them, and I figured out who BluntGuitarMan thinks is the fourth, but the other two, don't know. And what about the other six not in band? Ok, so I know one of those. OBVIOUSLY there are more guys out there that like me that I really have no idea.. ok! It's actually pretty flattering =)