Thoughts

Disclaimer: This post has the potential to be very, very random.
Why?  Because I'm writing about thoughts, which also have the potential to be very, very random.  Right now, I'm going to write about some specific thoughts that I've been having very recently.  Actually, pieces of these thoughts have been entering my mind over the past year and a half or so, but I think they've finally come together.  The thing is, I thought they had come together already, a few months ago.  BUT now they have been added on to, and they're coming-togetherness makes more sense and, actually, gives me great pleasure.  It gives me much joy to present: MY THOUGHTS. (Which is what I normally do on here anyway, so this shouldn't come as much of a surprise.)

So what HAVE I been thinking about as of late?  Well, I just finished reading a section in my Humanities book that talked about writing about the arts.  I won't go into detail about that, because what I want to say pertains to more than just that.. and I don't feel like writing about those thoughts.  Also, yesterday, I read a chapter in my Drawing 101 class about Art Appreciation.  Or understanding art, or something like that.  In reading these two texts, it came to me, once again, how much I enjoy studying Humanities type subjects, especially when it comes to the meaning and beauty of art.  Something about it just invigorates my mind and soul and makes me SO happy to learn about.  So happy.  I want to just keep learning about it, and learning about it, and learning about it. 

Maybe this is what it feels like when you find something that you think is 'what you're supposed to do' or 'the thing that's right for you'.  There are a few ways I could go with this desire that I have found.  I could major in Art History, minor in Humanities, and get a teaching degree so I could teach Art History!  This career choice is actually something I think I would ENJOY doing, because I would have the opportunity to share my Love and appreciation for art and the reasoning of great artists.  (And not so great artists, because oftentimes they have beautiful thoughts and works, too.)  I would LOVE that!  However, I know teaching isn't the most secure career to go into, by any means.  But I'm beginning to think that's a career I would really like.  AND I would Love to be an art critic.  Though building a reputation for that is probably quite difficult, and I don't know if I'd ever be able to make a name for myself in so doing.. in this life.  But, frankly, it's worth a shot.  When there's a will, there's a way.  And my will is to make my career something I really enjoy.  And guess whhaaaatt? I enjoy art.  I enjoy studying it, analyzing it, and the excitement that comes when I feel like I know something about a work or genre of works.  I don't know how to explain how amazing all of this is to me.  I Love art!  I'm so glad I took that AP Art History class, even though it was very time consuming.  It helped me develop the appreciation for art that I've always had, but never really focused on.

That Art History class.. hm.  Maybe one of the reason I Love it so much is because of all the work I put into it.  My wise instructor, adopted older brother, and one of my best friends said to me recently: "When you put that much dedication, work, and energy into something, you become passionate about it; it will never leave your heart.  If you stop it, there will be a lingering void, and you will want to come back to it."  (That may not be EXACTLY what he said, word for word, but it's close enough and portrays what me meant pretty dang well.)  I find this entirely true.  So, maybe, anything I put that much effort into I will come to Love.


To a certain extent.


The reason I specify with the above comment is... in order to put enough effort into something for Passion to happen, you have to have some sort of liking of it in the first place.  There are things I've worked hard on that I don't necessarily feel connected to.  I think this whole Passion thing is a continual process.. like this:

Desire: No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, one must have the desire to do something before they are willing to put TRUE EFFORT into it.
Work: The hard stuff.  Practicing.  Fixing mistakes until you can not only get it right, but no longer get it wrong. (That is advice from another one of my instructors, who I also admire.)
Passion: Like my wise friend told me, this passion is a result of real effort.  After desire, the more effort one puts into it, the more passion they will develop for it.
More work.
Increased passion.
More work.
More increased passion.
More work.
More increased passion.

Get the picture?
Anyway, those were.. my thoughts!  And they took up a lot of space.  Well, thank you for your time.  Much Love! :)

--Kiki