Reconnect.

I am a writer.
I've been a writer since before I completely knew what that meant. My mom told me that even my stories as a young one-digiter showed her that I had a taste for creative expression through words.  I wrote stories about princesses, tigers, traveling, and even pineapples.

Today, I often forget the imagination and drive I found in those one-digit years; I write so many things in accordance with structured expectations of essays and papers that all of my writing, personal and academic, begins to feel flat.  It then becomes easy to forget why I want to write in the first place.  Writing is a very large part of my soul.  In fact, it is so much a part of me that my mind often feels blocked and stunted when I haven't truly expressed myself in writing for a few weeks.

Lately, I have had long periods of time void of new poems, or even blog posts.  I'm aware of this, but I have been telling myself that personal writing must be one of the first things to go when I feel I'm pressed for time, that I don't really need it.  In the past few days, I've had the shock of realizing that writing, or the lack thereof, has a much bigger effect on my life than I thought.

Because it is the medium that connects my mind to my heart.

When I have a lot to think about, a lot to do, and most importantly a lot of things to resolve, my brain goes into this mode where I separate logic from emotion.  In this mode, emotions are often pushed aside  in order to approach things in the supposedly "best" way possible.  While this helps me to react to many inflammatory situations without fire, it blocks a very important part of my inspiration process, and ultimately my overall happiness.

As my mom has always told me, I tend to be very pragmatic.  However, no matter how much of me wants to believe otherwise, logic will only get me so far.  I need my emotions, my heart, in order to really find the answers and joy I am seeking.  The Lord can only help me if both pathways are open.

He speaks to me through my mind AND my heart. (Doctrine and Covenants 8:2)

...and I have discovered that they key to reconnecting these two pathways when I am in logic-mode is writing - personal, expressive, and vulnerable creations of words - which I have unfortunately neglected lately.

I plan to remedy this.  I would say this is my new-years resolution, but we all know how long those usually last.  So, it's simply a resolution.

A resolution to reconnect.