Chipped

chipped nail polish still makes a beautiful shape

I'm surprised I've punched through from that land of escape

punched through? or overcome or ignored for my heart has implored

that I not get stuck there again. Because stuck I was but

not all of my own accord. 

Pulled in and trapped but have you gotten out before?

Or was that furthering into escape even more?

You're scared of that word.

The one you were reminded of with the chipped red polish.

It's messy. It looks broken but somehow still feels classy.

But not so much that it's stifled, for cracks let light in.

Receive it. 

Let that shining red word lead instead of fear.

You know yourself enough so let yourself be it.

You know enough.

About you. About him. About Him.

To move forward.

Polish still chipped,

But fingers equipped.

It all still works, you discovered when the switch was flipped.

Flipped by realizations, his and yours.

When fear wanted to trampoline-bounce the emotions he pours

But you wanted to let it open the doors -- and it did, oh it did!

With words so sincere and anxiety thick on both ends.

It's interesting though from it your heart needed no amends.

It was welcome. Is welcome.

The thought draws you in.

And you dare to imagine how that red feels on your skin.

It's new and nostalgic all at the same time

You keep needing to convince yourself it's no crime

To let it come through the cracks and be part of the chips

To let your heart brighten because of the switch he flips.

And maybe the chips will turn into clicks.

Connections that sew and so together clip.

So let your mind flip

and your heart take a dip

as you choose to fully immerse

in this trip.

Sent

 I felt like I should send this to somebody, so I'm sending it to you.

I'm not quite sure why it is but

somehow color blue.

Maybe it's the wave that came because I saw her dance.

My sister who I love so much that my tear ducts had no chance.

Even the most simple of movements brought a lump into my throat.

So much to feel and I'm wondering if it's real or if my heart is confused.

Confused and overused as I've tried so hard to try.

When I'm not sure if me and my heart ever see eye to eye...

Well not EVER but definitely not now.

Sometimes I feel so fake...

just wondering if it's all a facade because more REAL I cannot take.

Real is scary. Real means risk. Real means making mistakes.

But isn't that better?

I feel in a sense that's more full.

Even though it's harder

I know the result is more whole.

And I want to be real and shake off this constant wall of nerves.

To really connect and be sure that I'm heard and not have to worry saying all the right words.

That's what I want but I'm beginning to feel like I block myself from it.

I. Block. Myself.

And then she/I can't get out.

I want her OUT I don't want to be trapped inside this mystery shell. 

This shell that makes no sense because I know better. But it's still there and to something is tethered.

I want to find that poll 

and TAKE IT OUT.

Maybe I've become a fulfillment scout.

Searching for connection when the franticness of it

Is what's blocking it out.

I still don't know who I'm sending this to.

Maybe it's you.

Skydust.

Skydust.

creating the era

where expression was slow

where any sort of care

had a different way to show

where ink and quill governed

and time spanned between

two pieces untethered

from two separate scenes

let’s create the mystic

let’s learn how to dance

let’s be the misfits

and trust in a chance

a chance to test if it’s only just

words

or if an openness must

be heard

a glimmer of starlight

with sparkling in mist

one traveling through so bright

like skydust was kissed

reflect on the river the moon ascends

make ready the quiver of previous amends

then shoot so it soars

and now descends

burst open the moon

and it’s skydust again.

Hues Gleam

points.

figuring.

already expounded I doubted the joints.

difference abounded

I found

myself lingering

Needs. Feeds.

surrounded by the represent

long to be more present.

the softness of word

and of hues' gleam

ever brightly.

a split.

and the joint seam

so rightly.

it won't leave my mind

its reason I can't comprehend

the tremble but must not forget phase of friend

But set ablaze

and the glaze

of wish. see. again.

are you surrounded or is not pretend?

They That Erred in Spirit

My blog and I are alive and well again. And something else that is alive and well is my scripture study. Can I just say, some absolutely amazing spiritual confirmations and miracles have taken place in the last couple of weeks, and I know these things came only because I'm doing my best to make daily scripture study and regular temple attendance a priority. I have been so enriched.

I wanted to share something I learned in my study this morning. I began anew my study of the Book of Mormon when I got home from my mission a little over a month ago, and I'm now in the Isaiah chapters. Yes, I actually learned something from the Isaiah chapters! It's been astounding to see what the Spirit can do.

The beginning of 2 Nephi 27 talks about what it feels like to be without the guidance and comfort of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. Isaiah is a fantastic poet and brings such imagery to his description:

"...shall be as a dream of a night vision; yea, it shall be unto them, even as unto a hungry man which dreameth, and behold he eateth but he awaketh and his soul is empty; or like unto a thirsty man which dreameth, and behold he drinketh but he awaketh and behold he is faint, and his soul hath appetite" (2 Nephi 27:3)

Have you ever felt something like this? A sense that something is missing--that no matter what you do, something about your life doesn't quite feel complete? I for sure have. And the more I've learned about life and about our Savior, Jesus Christ, the more I've come to recognize that this emptiness comes when we aren't inviting Christ into our hearts. And it's a terribly lonely feeling.

But Christ always gives us reassurance. There is no such thing as taking too long or being too far away.

"They also that erred in spirit shall come to understanding, and they that murmured shall learn doctrine." (2 Nephi 27:35)

In a general sense, this verse refers to what will happen when the Savior comes to earth again, which will be miraculous. However, I think it can also apply on an individual basis and the timing is dependent only upon our asking for Him. On an individual scale, this understanding and doctrine and comfort can be part of our lives as soon as we invite Him in.

So take a minute to ponder how you can let Him in more in your life. And I adore talking about this stuff, so feel free to share it with me.

Love,
Kelsey

Smile

to be spiritually minded is life eternal (2 Nephi 9:39)

that I might know Thee
that I might know me
that I may have this hope
PURIFIED
eternally

a spinning reflection of prose once loved
still loved. thrill loved.
to resonate through and connect with above
your love
HIS LOVE.

assurance of meaning
of power
effect-ion
congruent and teeming with perfect affection.

for I see through a glass
but because He knows
I can cut off the mask
and show how it glows

each sparkle, each angle,
and even each dent
all have a part
for what I was sent

take in what was given
then more abundantly
pours
to know my heart
as I start to know Yours.
to see OPENED DOORS.

Because He knows ME.
Then I can know Thee.
That I may be like Him
And more of ME, SEE.

Written December 28th, 2016 while I was on an 18 month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Location: Kirkland, WA.

Inspired by these scriptures:
2 Nephi 9:39
John 17:3
Moroni 7:8
1 Corinthians 3:12
2 Nephi 28:30
Mosiah 18:1
Moroni 7:48

Real

with each crack in slips a drop
          sticky
                    sweet
                              untrue

all I lack refuse to stop
until the heartmind flew

wind and turmoil never cease
the sticky won't relent
hardened now cannot release
but melt upon REPENT

a seeker
whizzing through
but take the time to stop
THE SPEAKER
words ring true
the stuck begins to drop

Renew. Reflect. Repent.
It worsened and then went.

Oh then is not this real?
comes swirling in the door
with substance true and solid feel
unlike I saw before.

The spirit writes anew on tables of the heart.
Stories which ring clear and true.
HIS. I am called to start.

Literal, the effects rooted enter into heart and mind.
MY STORY
now for the Lord
help me the answer
     --FIND--
much faster than I thought.

My heart is sure,
the Lord is kind
and to me much was taught.

Written on November 29th , 2015 while I was on an 18 month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Location: Kirkland, WA.

Inspired from these scripture references:
Helaman 5:12
Alma 34:9
Ezekiel 36:26
Alma 27:18
Alma 32:35
2 Corinthians 3:3
Jeremiah 31:33
Alma 32:37

New Moment

word and thought resonating through

angels speak. 

discoveries spark in lesson anew
to the weak
     and beat and soft 

the clicks and scents from magic past
tick and prick when stiffen
memories that push to last
stick.
whether not to listen.

long for the otherwise
begin a change to start
rechannel new from once demise
     alter tender heart.

Written September 24, 2015 while I was on an 18 month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Location: Issaquah, WA.

Inspired by these scripture references:
2 Nephi 32:3
2 Nephi 2:7
Proverbs 3:5-6
Ezekiel 36:26

The Author

Notice happiness.
Remember the smells of the day.
Choose the cherish.
And chase all doubts away.

The hand ticktockticking and
          tick...
                    tock...
                              tick...
                when wishing all the clicking would stick.

On whom you rely
For whom you are here
From whom your supply
To whom you'll be near
Remember.

The light and the life
Your world and all strife
in Him all embraced
His work is in haste

His work.
     His light.
          His glory.

Your heart. Your fight. Your story.

Written March 13th, 2015 while I was on an 18 month mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Location: Magnolia, WA.

January Fourteenth

Through all of the hustle and bustle and fear,
I know the LORD loves me and will remain near
With all of the colors mushed into one pot
I can always find my sacred spot.

Right here in these pages emotions contort.
And once they are out I can find support.
In seeing Him and seeing me,
and how and who He wants me to be.

Written on my first day at the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT