Part

among the growth
one seat alone
as if on oath
something to own

unlengthy phrases
but everything humming
things in phases
left still running

live extra
ordinary spark
contact.
but much apart

a new care
the finish white
find me there
one instance polite

sidewalk broken
forward start
meet me a moment
in a heart

a part
heart part
apart.

In His Name.

Last week, I posted about how I'm studying Preach My Gospel, and a couple of things I have been learning. I have a little more of that for you today.  Today's study was mostly focused on the topic of spreading the words of Christ. Many promises are made to those who preach of Him.  One of the promises is that He will be with those who teach.

From the words of the the Lord given through Joseph Smith in August 1832:

"But a commandment I give unto you, that ye shall declare whatsoever thing ye declare in my name, in solemnity of heart, in the spirit of meekness in all things.  And I give unto you this promise, that inasmuch as ye do this the Holy Ghost shall be shed forth in bearing record unto all things whatsoever ye shall say." (Doctrine and Covenants 100:5-8)

I have always been taught to end prayers, testimonies, and lessons "in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."  This can seem like a small detail, but the importance of it became very real to me today.  Saying things in His name indicates to Him that we are inviting Him to the message we are saying, and that we are inviting Him to us.  When we do this, He comes.  Christ comes whenever we invite Him in - He is an immediate RSVP-er.  When we bear our testimonies in His name, He is there testifying with us.  When we ask things of God in His name, He is there in that prayer, listening to us.  And, when we teach in His name, He is teaching with us.  Christ is always with us whenever we invite Him in, especially when we speak in His name.

I am so grateful for His presence.

Simple.

I have something simple to share with you today.  It's simple, but it is very, very big - at least to me.

I have been studying Preach My Gospel lately.  (This is a publication by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, made in order to help people study and share Christ's teachings.)  I started right after finals were over, and I committed to study it for an hour every day, all summer long.  It is surprising how fast that hour goes by.  Each topic brought up by that manual is a gem.  Today, I was studying The Atonement of Jesus Christ (in chapter 3 of the manual) and I found myself cross-referencing not only the scriptures suggested in the text, but scriptures I had scribbled in throughout seminary years and my religion classes at BYU.  I have learned a lot about the words of Christ over the years, and much of it has been foundational things I learned from my teachers in Primary, Sunday School, Seminary, etc.  However, I was amazed today when it hit me that all of these teachings come from the scriptures.
This Gospel isn't just a Church.  It isn't just a bunch of good people teaching good things - though it is also that.  This Gospel is the word of Christ.  What I have been learning my whole life comes straight from the words He gave to His prophets, both anciently and in this time, to teach.
In my Atonement study today, one verse in particular struck me.

Christ understands us because of the Atonement He performed while He was on the earth.  He knows us perfectly, and wants us to know He loves us.  He also wants to teach us, and that is why He has instructed prophets to teach and record His words - so they can make it to us and we can learn.
This Gospel is PERFECT.  Christ is perfect, and He is a perfect teacher.  I know this manual was written by those inspired of God, because I feel His Spirit so strongly when I study it.  Reading what I did today really solidified to me that these are His words and His teachings.  This isn't just the teachings of "a church."  This is true; this is eternal and beautiful DIVINE TRUTH.
His word.  His teachings.  His Love.  His power.  I feel this so very strongly, and I am so grateful for His confirmation of my study and learning.  I know He loves His children.  I know He loves me.  I say these things in His name.

There is my simple truth for you today.
Onward and upward.
<3

Drips.

Another scent with just a few drips
Each trigger anew the character slips

Paint a picture as if in a mirror
The colors: portrayal of who is the seer

Searching for where the mind can be quiet
Thoughts always pushing me to fight it

Ever present, expectations tug
Asking me to pull the plug
And let flow some unfound mystery
Some wonder I know I cannot see

Crawling for the secret switch
Only to find an infrequent twitch
The power. One hour.
No hitch.
Glitch.

More drips of color have joined, but hit the mirror
Now to be viewed by every seer.

It Depends on the Connection

Knowledge can be a stumbling block.  I have heard this in a variety of contexts before, many from the scriptures in reference to “the learned” who are “stiff-necked” and unfaithful.  Elder Kevin J. Worthen talks about this important topic in an address to BYU students.  In reference to Paul’s epistle to the Corinthians, he talks about how caring is more important than knowing.  Paul states it this way:

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not ^acharity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

 2 And though I have the gift of ^aprophecy, and understand all^bmysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

I Corinthians 13:1-2

So, should we avoid knowledge?  Elder Worthen responds with a resounding “no.”  Knowledge is still important, but without charity – it is nothing.  He lays out a good analogy to visualize this: Knowledge is like dots on a page.  We can connect them and learn, but “if we do not consider the impact our actions and knowledge have on others, we will see neither all the dots on the page nor the multitude of connections that might be made to give more clarity to the picture.”  He argues, then, that charity and knowledge have a symbiotic relationship, meaning that they build each other up, and one cannot prosper without the other.

I absolutely love what he does at the end of this discussion.  This symbiotic relationship works perfectly with the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  He says: “Perhaps only when He completely realized the full measure of the pain He was being asked to bear was it possible for Christ to exercise the kind of pure love that constitutes full charity.”  When I read this, I thought: He can understand each of us because He has been there.  He has perfect empathy for every situation – empathy that really means something. Like this:

(Brené Brown, The Power of Empathy.)

Christ is the perfect example of this. Elder Worthen exhorts us to make it a priority to gain this kind of charity – even as much effort as we put into gaining knowledge.  He makes a thought-provoking comment about this:

 “It requires just as much energy and perseverance to acquire charity as it does to obtain knowledge.”

Only Christ has perfect knowledge and perfect empathy. In order for us to feel that much charity for another person, or other people, we need to connect with Christ.  In order for us to gain completely knowledge of anything, we need to connect with Christ.  Both of these endeavors rely on our connection and closeness to Christ.

This was a very inspiring reminder to me. I’m glad I read this talk.

Whisp

Walk with me on a blustery day
Can I know if you heard me say
String when pulled begins to fray
Then rewound, though loosely, stay

Swirling spindles to and fro
Further into night we go
Hard to see the whisping flow
All around somehow I know

Stepping wind that makes us light
Dancing with no end in sight
Away one current for a right
Open span to then take flight

Curled from pressure, tight and wrong.
Twirled composure, now a song.

Dewdrops

Drifting apart where each droplet once clung
As down a new path their journey begun
Dripping off surface as if they were wrung
And quickly fall into, rush certainly stung

Away go each little bead upon the wind's shiver
As dewdrops from leaf fall into the river.

Note.

A sigh of recognition came
As the artist began
As the sign by that simple refrain
Changes each can't into can

Can find a link.
Leave all segregation for a time
Now under agreement in invisible ink
Can again see how we together rhyme
Of old fashion values and virtues, we think
Despite the surrounding confusion and crime

Something found, hold. Don't lose it.
Such is the connection kept through music.

(These words came to me during a dear friend's senior recital last November.)

Reconnect.

I am a writer.
I've been a writer since before I completely knew what that meant. My mom told me that even my stories as a young one-digiter showed her that I had a taste for creative expression through words.  I wrote stories about princesses, tigers, traveling, and even pineapples.

Today, I often forget the imagination and drive I found in those one-digit years; I write so many things in accordance with structured expectations of essays and papers that all of my writing, personal and academic, begins to feel flat.  It then becomes easy to forget why I want to write in the first place.  Writing is a very large part of my soul.  In fact, it is so much a part of me that my mind often feels blocked and stunted when I haven't truly expressed myself in writing for a few weeks.

Lately, I have had long periods of time void of new poems, or even blog posts.  I'm aware of this, but I have been telling myself that personal writing must be one of the first things to go when I feel I'm pressed for time, that I don't really need it.  In the past few days, I've had the shock of realizing that writing, or the lack thereof, has a much bigger effect on my life than I thought.

Because it is the medium that connects my mind to my heart.

When I have a lot to think about, a lot to do, and most importantly a lot of things to resolve, my brain goes into this mode where I separate logic from emotion.  In this mode, emotions are often pushed aside  in order to approach things in the supposedly "best" way possible.  While this helps me to react to many inflammatory situations without fire, it blocks a very important part of my inspiration process, and ultimately my overall happiness.

As my mom has always told me, I tend to be very pragmatic.  However, no matter how much of me wants to believe otherwise, logic will only get me so far.  I need my emotions, my heart, in order to really find the answers and joy I am seeking.  The Lord can only help me if both pathways are open.

He speaks to me through my mind AND my heart. (Doctrine and Covenants 8:2)

...and I have discovered that they key to reconnecting these two pathways when I am in logic-mode is writing - personal, expressive, and vulnerable creations of words - which I have unfortunately neglected lately.

I plan to remedy this.  I would say this is my new-years resolution, but we all know how long those usually last.  So, it's simply a resolution.

A resolution to reconnect.

Sister Soul Sister

This is Claire.

Clairence. 

Twin. 

Clairey. 

Soul Sister. 

(and the words of Johnboy) "Hey, Punk." 

Claire dear.

Sister Claire Sanford.

I have this friend. 

I met her nearly 4 years ago, 

at the end of my Sophomore year in High School.

And I Love her 

more than I know how to say.

She has been there for me through 

the most ridiculous and dramatic of times,

helped me dance and smile through life,

taught me how to be open and giving,

and showed me how to always 

give my whole self 

to everything that I do.

We have laughed.
Been artsy.
Sang together.
Been silly.
Rocked on.


Been PATRIOTIC.

Stared at each other.
And been on many
very, very long
and hilarious
carpools
and bus-rides.

She helped introduce me to the hobby
that quickly became the love of my life.

We have calmed each other's nerves.

We have gone to the temple together.

We have smeared chocolate goop 

all over our faces 

and girl-talked 

while it encrusted our skin.

I was jealous
of her cheekbones.
And her nose.

She never missed a chance
to tell me she thinks I am
Beautiful.

She was there when I graduated High School...

and I was there when she did.

Today is one of the most nerve-racking and exciting days of Claire's life.
This Wednesday,
she will leave to spread the Gospel of Christ for 18 months in Reno, Nevada.

And she had many wise and wonderful things to say about it.

"This is why I am serving a mission. This Gospel is most desirable, and I want to share it with others so they can partake with me."

"I know I will be guided to those in search of truth, a foundation, and so much more."

"When we are blind in darkness, we can pray and receive His light."

"This all feels so unreal."

"I know this is where I am supposed to go.  To share this gospel with the people there, and hope they receive it.  If they don't, at least I'll know I planted a seed."

I have always admired her courage, testimony, and faith. 

My adopted sister, I will miss your antics and your Love dearly.

But I am so excited for you.

Now go change the world.