Odd Me

Time for another semi random post, as most of my posts are. :)
I don't know exactly, but this may be the last post you see here for a couple months. Why?
Oh..... here we go.
--ACT in less than a month. 600+ page book to read. Gotta stay on schedule with that.
--Guard three days a week. My days are booked until' around 6PM on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
--Oh, plus personal practice. Which is absolutely necessary.  I feel really bad when I don't.  Though I can't on most Wednesdays.
--SCHOLARSHIPS. Yes, I need to apply for those.  Make time, make time.
--Applying for COLLEGE. AH!! Not. Ready. Oh, and "Letters of Recommendation"?? Vat ees thees?
--AP Art History: Why am I taking such an overwhelming class on top of the rest of my life?  Because I want to learn about art. It's really really interesting and I like it a lot. However, this class happens to have a lot of work... it's all interesting (except the cutting and gluing of flashcards), just time consuming.
--IB Math SL. Again, WHY am I doing this to myself?  Because I'm insane.  SO glad I have Simons.  He rocks.  Oh, and I wouldn't be surviving that class without Dream and Silverlight.  And Jen, Smiley, and Ch~, sometimes.  But mostly Silverlight and Dream.  Thanks you two!  You keep me alive in there!
--CHOIR! (I'm in AWE. And Concert, but I'm not in the class for Concert.  I'm learning the music on my own time - which I have little of, but it's very very much worth it to me.)  Which I Love. That and Guard are my outlets in all of this craziness. I ADORE all choir people.  They help me VERY muchly much to survive as well.  Some of the ones on the top of the "Helping Kiki stay alive list" are:
Kenna (nickname to be determined..)
Silverlight
Dream
Scales
Gladiator
KGreen (need a better name for you too... but OH goodness I LOVE her!!)
ZachO
Twin (I would be dead without her. Seriously. I NEED this girl!)
LittleSis
Poker
Sleepy (I think you need a new name again.  I know I've changed it many times, but this one doesn't quite say YOU.)
Jendley (hahah! I just came up with that! I like it!)
Tueller (who I recently remembered I'm related to ;) Through Muffin)
Potatoes
um.. there are probably more. I Love them all. Oh, and these are only the ones in choir. Though that constitutes most of the list. :D

--AP English. So far the workload hasn't been too much.  I haven't had a whole lot of worry about this class. Maybe I will though.  Hopefully it wont get too bad, especially in the next two months.
--Physiology. Not TOO bad of a workload, but it's one of my more heavy classes
um.. I think that is all.  It's a lot.  And that is why this will be the last post for a while.  I'm surprised I have some free time today.  It's a blessing.

Throughout the list I just typed up, you may have noticed I seemed quite calm.  I can assure you that was not the case yesterday.  I've been super duper emotional lately, and yesterday EVERYthing I've been stressed about, sad about, mad about, or any other negative feeling about came CRASHING down on me.  I literally could not make myself be put together.  Even after I got a hold of myself, 20 seconds later I broke down again.  I'm apologizing now for those I've snapped at or will snap at throughout this whole thing.  Though I'll probably apologize again.  Thanks for putting up with me, I'm very very much in debt to all of you.

Ok. Next item of business..
Not really business.  Business isn't attached to emotion.  Which I always always am.  Very much so.  It's part of the whole human thing. :) But anyway, this next little part is so attached to emotion that it's pretty much ridiculous.  I was having some ridiculous thoughts on Friday, and wrote them in my journal.

So, I've been strangely sad. Kind of pathetically so... and something that happened on Saturday night.  It reminded me what makes people genuinely happy when they're bummed.

I tried to help someone else be happy.

I'm not going to say who here.. though they might have figured it out.  I'll just say this person has helped me SO many times and in so many ways that neither they or I can think of them all. 

And it made me feel a lot better.  Even though I didn't do anything extravagant.  Maybe it's something about knowing someone needs you that makes you feel better.. or something.  I don't know how to describe it, I just know it works. :)  I was feeling way super duper down, and I put aside my problems and tried to make them feel better.  Thanks a million. :)

Last night, I opened up my box and read those words that usually make me feel better.  Some of them.. actually made me feel worse.  And the rest of them neither hurt nor helped, really.  This. Is also very odd.  Hence the title of this post.


I know I say this a lot, but I just keep thinking about how I'd be SO much worse off if it weren't for those people I Love and cherish.  Most of them were mentioned in the choir list, but there are a few who aren't there who also have helped me more than I can even comprehend.

Mr. Smooth
Naomi
Mrs. F
Muffin
Mom
Padre
Shendley (Jendley's little sister. Love. Her.)
VedySmot
ESoza
Wes
MLE
Nattle (Nat. L... just in case you don't recognize your own nickname ;))
McAllen (I met him recently, so he's a new addition to the blog. He's one of Dream's friends and he makes me smile.)
Brother Little
And I like to remind you of the choir people, too.  They help me SO much.

You all are literally my happiness, sanity, and life savers.  I'm not trying to be queso here.
My heart is full of so much Love (on top of all the other emotions) that it may burst.  I. Love. You. SO MUCH!

--Kiki
AKA Odd Me. A very emotional girl right now.