Mulling Metaphors

Casserole. 
This is reminscent of a term I have used before - emotional smoothie.  Why these terms?  Because they indicate mixed emotions which are potentially complicated and very difficult to dig into, analyze, and come out of in a state of sanity.  Why do I decide to use food for these things?  I'm perfectly capable of coming up with cleaner analogies, to be sure.  But that's just the thing - emotional smoothies (or casseroles) are anything but clean.  They can be unattractive if they are not concocted correctly, and definitely a big mess if they are ever spilled.
Why a casserole, then?  Emotional smoothies look uniform because of the fact that they are blended.  In casseroles, on the other hand, you can usually see the pieces they consist of distinctly.  This should mean that a casserole is easier to "pick apart" - well, maybe yes, but also potentially much harder to digest.

Mull that metaphor over if you so desire.

Many things have been going through my head as of late.  I have had trouble focusing because of them.  As I have been trying to pick apart and digest these many things, I have realized that a lot of the poems I have created in the past - and all of the thoughts behind them - can be combined to describe the current state of my mind and of my heart.

So I have linked my thoughts to those poems. (Literally, linked.  As in hyperlink.  Feel free.)

One thought that has been on repeat in my mind is that I fall short of the things I need to do, be, and become.  That I am not enough.  Then there comes a wondering of the honesty of the words I here.  On top of this, the tension created in certain situations - a tension that exists because of my inability to conquer my own emotional wall.  After all of that, I am filled with the hope that things will turn out all right, the tension subside, and that clarity will return.  As I invite the Lord into my mind and thoughts, this hope turns into a comforting assurance, and leads to a feeling of determination to become the way I need to be in order to succesfully continue.

This determination leads to a feeling of a new start, a new beginning.  This is generally a good thing, but can be frustrating when one doesn't quite know how to pick up and start afresh.  It is like my heart and mind are keeping secrets from me, and I have next to no idea how to find them.

Then I am reminded...
...to invite, like I mentioned before
...of the people around me who Love me and are aware just how to help
...that I have found ways in the past to figure out how to start afresh, and that I am capable of doing it.

The fact that my current state of being seems to be a combination of all of my emotional smoothies of the past is a bit overwhelming.  A combination of smoothies?  That definitely does not sound like a very appealing casserole.

Trust me, it isn't.

But I am figuring out how to choose the correct ingredients to make the best kind of casserole.  It will be a result of newfound knowledge and practice.  I'm not sure exactly how long it will take to perfect its recipe, but I have a feeling I already have a fairly good start.

Here's another issue, though.  How does something made of strings create a casserole?

Because I'm still in that state of being as well.