Letter To Me

Dear me at nineteen,

You just moved away from home for the first time.  This is the most dramatic change of your life so far, and you're excited, scared, shy, and feeling a little small - but you are also overcome with the feeling of BIG.  This is a big thing for you - and the roommates you have now will become the best thing that ever happened.  You'll gain so much from them, laugh more than you thought possible, scream at the TV, learn beauty tips, and experience Pangaea (you just wait).  Your heart will never let go of these girls - even when they get married before you do.

I may very well have listened to Letter To Me by Brad Paisley for inspiration here (yes, you will come to love and appreciate country).  You will receive a lot of comfort from that song come March – thank you to one of your darling girlfriends for that one.  You’ll be roommates with her in Summer 2014, and she’ll continue to be a great example of love, understanding, and acceptance for you.  Take advantage of that.  In fact, take advantage of all of the wonderful examples in the next twenty months.  You will meet many, some very unlikely, and they will teach you a lot.

One will help you realize there is messy craziness in the world, but that entropy is part of life and it’s okay.

One will teach you how to be truly observant of yourself.  He will help you feel yourself out and be in tune with your emotions in ways you didn’t know you needed.

Another will remind you that even the happiest, most social people need to feel noticed.

One very important person will show you that you are worth loving, and that soaking up each moment is the best way to live.

That same person will teach you to embrace your quirks, love your under-appreciated movies, and not be embarrassed of your affinity with exceptional phrasing… even puns.

You will be reassured that God is with you through many sources, scriptural and otherwise.  The Lord will be closer to you than ever before.

A dear friend at work will remind you to move forward in faith, taking action even when you are unsure.

One will help you solidify the idea that listening to silly pop-stars helps – especially when you are crazy emotional.

Similarly, you will learn from multiple people that indie music can brighten your mood and really help you think.  Don’t reject this idea – I know you want to.

Shannon Hale, that lovely genius of a woman, will teach you that embracing your love of the Austen world is okay.  Beneficial and therapeutic, even.

You will learn to see beauty in the world more fully.

An unlikely friend will help you break barriers related to sharing your emotional stories.

He will also show you that, even though things are messy, you are strong – and, more importantly, you need not be ashamed of your past.

One will tell you the meaning of matching energy levels to make connections.

One will show you to challenge your beliefs.  Don’t reject this, because it will only strengthen your convictions.

A supervisor will teach you that there is meaning in rules and guidelines.

Following promptings will come to mean more to you.

You will learn to be persistent, encouraging, and even how to change lives.

You will read, listen to, and watch things that will blow your mind and change your perspective about absolutely everything.

You are going to learn things about yourself that you’ve never thought of.  In all honesty, chica, I don’t believe in writing “what I wish I knew in…” style things, because 

I don’t wish 

                   you knew then 

                                         what I know now.  

                                                                      I know you.  

You learn things when you are ready for them, and you’re not ready to learn everything you will yet.  I will tell you, though, that you will be ready to learn more than you ever thought you could when it’s all over.

You will find heroes, and you will discover just how much the concept of heroes means to you, because of your connection to their personalities.  Keep your heart open, and these next twenty months (I can hardly believe it has only been 20 months) will be the BIGGEST of your life.  Listen to people, especially to your own thoughts, and you will stretch yourself.  You will learn, and you will change – but don’t be scared of that. 

Remember how mom once said, very wisely, that the only thing constant in life is change?

That’s still true.

Love, with all the encouragement and reassurance I can muster,

You at twenty-one.