Odd Me

Time for another semi random post, as most of my posts are. :)
I don't know exactly, but this may be the last post you see here for a couple months. Why?
Oh..... here we go.
--ACT in less than a month. 600+ page book to read. Gotta stay on schedule with that.
--Guard three days a week. My days are booked until' around 6PM on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
--Oh, plus personal practice. Which is absolutely necessary.  I feel really bad when I don't.  Though I can't on most Wednesdays.
--SCHOLARSHIPS. Yes, I need to apply for those.  Make time, make time.
--Applying for COLLEGE. AH!! Not. Ready. Oh, and "Letters of Recommendation"?? Vat ees thees?
--AP Art History: Why am I taking such an overwhelming class on top of the rest of my life?  Because I want to learn about art. It's really really interesting and I like it a lot. However, this class happens to have a lot of work... it's all interesting (except the cutting and gluing of flashcards), just time consuming.
--IB Math SL. Again, WHY am I doing this to myself?  Because I'm insane.  SO glad I have Simons.  He rocks.  Oh, and I wouldn't be surviving that class without Dream and Silverlight.  And Jen, Smiley, and Ch~, sometimes.  But mostly Silverlight and Dream.  Thanks you two!  You keep me alive in there!
--CHOIR! (I'm in AWE. And Concert, but I'm not in the class for Concert.  I'm learning the music on my own time - which I have little of, but it's very very much worth it to me.)  Which I Love. That and Guard are my outlets in all of this craziness. I ADORE all choir people.  They help me VERY muchly much to survive as well.  Some of the ones on the top of the "Helping Kiki stay alive list" are:
Kenna (nickname to be determined..)
Silverlight
Dream
Scales
Gladiator
KGreen (need a better name for you too... but OH goodness I LOVE her!!)
ZachO
Twin (I would be dead without her. Seriously. I NEED this girl!)
LittleSis
Poker
Sleepy (I think you need a new name again.  I know I've changed it many times, but this one doesn't quite say YOU.)
Jendley (hahah! I just came up with that! I like it!)
Tueller (who I recently remembered I'm related to ;) Through Muffin)
Potatoes
um.. there are probably more. I Love them all. Oh, and these are only the ones in choir. Though that constitutes most of the list. :D

--AP English. So far the workload hasn't been too much.  I haven't had a whole lot of worry about this class. Maybe I will though.  Hopefully it wont get too bad, especially in the next two months.
--Physiology. Not TOO bad of a workload, but it's one of my more heavy classes
um.. I think that is all.  It's a lot.  And that is why this will be the last post for a while.  I'm surprised I have some free time today.  It's a blessing.

Throughout the list I just typed up, you may have noticed I seemed quite calm.  I can assure you that was not the case yesterday.  I've been super duper emotional lately, and yesterday EVERYthing I've been stressed about, sad about, mad about, or any other negative feeling about came CRASHING down on me.  I literally could not make myself be put together.  Even after I got a hold of myself, 20 seconds later I broke down again.  I'm apologizing now for those I've snapped at or will snap at throughout this whole thing.  Though I'll probably apologize again.  Thanks for putting up with me, I'm very very much in debt to all of you.

Ok. Next item of business..
Not really business.  Business isn't attached to emotion.  Which I always always am.  Very much so.  It's part of the whole human thing. :) But anyway, this next little part is so attached to emotion that it's pretty much ridiculous.  I was having some ridiculous thoughts on Friday, and wrote them in my journal.

So, I've been strangely sad. Kind of pathetically so... and something that happened on Saturday night.  It reminded me what makes people genuinely happy when they're bummed.

I tried to help someone else be happy.

I'm not going to say who here.. though they might have figured it out.  I'll just say this person has helped me SO many times and in so many ways that neither they or I can think of them all. 

And it made me feel a lot better.  Even though I didn't do anything extravagant.  Maybe it's something about knowing someone needs you that makes you feel better.. or something.  I don't know how to describe it, I just know it works. :)  I was feeling way super duper down, and I put aside my problems and tried to make them feel better.  Thanks a million. :)

Last night, I opened up my box and read those words that usually make me feel better.  Some of them.. actually made me feel worse.  And the rest of them neither hurt nor helped, really.  This. Is also very odd.  Hence the title of this post.


I know I say this a lot, but I just keep thinking about how I'd be SO much worse off if it weren't for those people I Love and cherish.  Most of them were mentioned in the choir list, but there are a few who aren't there who also have helped me more than I can even comprehend.

Mr. Smooth
Naomi
Mrs. F
Muffin
Mom
Padre
Shendley (Jendley's little sister. Love. Her.)
VedySmot
ESoza
Wes
MLE
Nattle (Nat. L... just in case you don't recognize your own nickname ;))
McAllen (I met him recently, so he's a new addition to the blog. He's one of Dream's friends and he makes me smile.)
Brother Little
And I like to remind you of the choir people, too.  They help me SO much.

You all are literally my happiness, sanity, and life savers.  I'm not trying to be queso here.
My heart is full of so much Love (on top of all the other emotions) that it may burst.  I. Love. You. SO MUCH!

--Kiki
AKA Odd Me. A very emotional girl right now.

Simple Romance

Alrighty. So this is way cheesy and.. almost sounds country-ish in my head. But I like it.

A knock on the door, a smile, an embrace
As simple as just that look on your face
I can't quite explain what you mean to me
You make me feel who I want to be

Complex? I'm above it
I find myself Lovin'
The little things

I'm a hopeless romantic
Sometimes  I'm frantic
My minds goin' out of control
I bloom at the simple things
The simple Joy they bring
You've got my heart in a whirl

Comfort and cheer me and make me laugh
You're strange plus silly, that's my Love math
A walk or a run in your minutes to spare
A last minute talk to show you'll always be there

A frown? Not for long
If anything's wrong
You help me smile

Knock. Smile. Embrace.
I can't quite explain.. Oh, that look on your face
Talk. Laugh. Insane.
Just the sound of your voice takes away pain
You're who I want to dance with in the rain

It's all the little things
You do that make me sing
You never cease to make me smile
I'm a hopeless romantic
Simple romance...
Take out the hopeless, and that's our style.

:)

Don't go askin' me who this is about, because Imma tell ya!  It's about all of my closest friends.  Thank you so much for being everything I need and more.  I Love you. :)

Yours always,
Kiki

Initiation

It was a hot and sunny day.  People from choirs all around PHS were gathered at the favorite local hang out, Macey's.  Two of the group (Dream and myself) got there another way than everyone else, and were oblivious to what was coming their way.  They joked, made funny faces, and were generally awkward with the rest of the group.  When it came time to head back to the school is when the truth came out.  The whole group was going to fit in one little vehicle.

SHOTGUN!... Oh goodness this is crazy!... I don't think anyone else can fit!  We can fit another person in the front!... There is no way this is happening... I don't think there's room... Nah, you can fit. Just get in on top of everyone in the back... We can't shut the door!... There's a leg in the way, who's is this?... Sorry, that's mine.  I'm trying... Here, let me get the door...

The whole posse strained and squished until finally we got the door shut and started the car.  And we wheeled right out of the parking lot and all the way to the school.  Alive.  Everyone afraid of getting in a crash or otherwise pulled over.  As soon as we got on campus, I *touched* the door handle and the door FLEW open.  We all fell out.
I Love us choir people.  (I can say US now.. hehe :D)  Love Love.  I'm super duper excited that I'm in choir this year :D
Ky~ told me a couple minutes later:
"Well, you're officially initiated now."
... Oh, so that's how they do it.
 My mom's response to this story was:
 "Every teen has to do that once in there life.. but please NEVER do that again!"

For Good

Life.
Life is magnificent.  Completely and totally magnificent. :D  I mean, it could get better, but it's really very good indeed.
"I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason.  Bringing something we must learn.  And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them.. and we help them in return."
I Love that song.  It's so true, too.  I feel like I really have been led to the people who will help me and care for me the most.  My friends are all so willing and ready to say the things that will make me feel accepted and important.  They are very much a part of the reason I'm so happy lately.  I.... want to send a shout out.  To Gladiator, Dream, and Twin.  They've taken time to just.. listen to me.  They'll hear what I have to say and give what advice they have.. or they'll just listen.  Sometimes that's all I need, is someone who really cares who I can talk to.  Thank you for being those people for me. :)
The other day, Dream came over to do just what I just mentioned.  Listen.  It was late and I didn't really expect him to be able to come over, but he did.  I had been having a really weird mood type day.. and he made it SO much better just by caring.  Thank you.  I will never ever forget that night. :)
Gladiator.  If I had to pick a phrase to describe him, it would be best friend.  He's one of the sweetest guys I know, and one of my most trusted confidants.  I know I'm not the only person who thinks he's great, either.  He's a really great listener and somehow always knows how to make me feel better. Well, almost always, because I've had some pretty stubborn moods.  He's put up with so much from me.. probably knows me the best out of all of my friends.. and not only STILL puts up with me after knowing it all.. but likes me more for it.  I couldn't ask for anyone better.  Thank you as well. :)
Twin.  Well.  I don't know quite what to say.  We've had many a heart to heart talk, her and I.  She knows of the things that make me smile, things that upset me, and most everything I've learned since I met her.  She's taught me a LOT about life and people.. and made me a better person.  I absolutely ADORE this girl and Love spending time with her.
I could probably say something about each and every one of my friends.. but just know I appreciate all of you.  I'm sure I'll say some sort of thank you to you sometime in the future if I haven't already.  You make my life complete.  You really do, I wouldn't be the same me without all of my fabulous, crazy, nerdy, awkward, smiley, loud, insane bunch of hoolagins.  ;)
I Love you all. Thank you so so much :D
Kiki

Echoed Stars

You told me I was a Princess
And not to settle for any other name
Any time you were there, you'd insist
Your respect and care was far from a game

I cried one night and wished for you
As soon as possible, you came through
Any hour, no matter how close the day's end
You were willing to be there. Truly a friend.

I remember your words of stars
How we'd catch them, they'd be ours
What the stars are, I now begin to realize
Seen now through new and different eyes

Some shine on my ceiling, some in a box
It was only recently I let them out of their locks
You kept your promise. Each star a glowing, happy memory
Each bright light seems to echo: "Remember me."

Granting their call, to their light I began to stare
Then dared to think you probably still care.
At least enough to turn a smile my way
I hope that care decides to stay.

Filled

A flutter of emotions enters into my heart
When wanting to express them, I think: Oh, but where to start?
I cannot always figure out if it's good or bad to reminisce
Is it happiness or sadness I feel when I read of that bliss?
Does anything I hold dear last?
Will everything repeat the words "It's only in the past" ?

I then remember that glance of genuine care and worry
Those words that tell me you will hurry
To stay up late and listen
To advise and console
And all those things I'm truly missin'
Feel like less of a black hole.

Leather Band

I open the door to those familiar eyes
The way they're fixed takes me by surprise
Before the door is pushed closed behind
More surprise and wonder I find
A warm and comforting circle surrounds
"I guess he missed me." are the words my mind found

Is it possible, even now, Still Aflame?
I'm careful to believe, tired of my heart's game
But everything is falling slowly back in to place
And I can't seem to keep my mind off of that face
That same look I remember, that outstretched hand
All of those thoughts and memories.. sealed in that leather band

Now my heart sings a song
That it knew all along
Is the tune a bit wrong?

... No matter, I'm out of that shell
Things are going quite well
I'm happy as ever - as anyone can tell.

Psychedelic!

I found that my mom has some old hippie style sunglasses... that plus a camera equals Kiki really can't resist taking pictures :D

Choir(?)

I have decided that speaking in a rediculous english accent makes things much more fun!  Especially if, along with previously mentioned accent, you use and excess of words.  Preferably intelligent sounding ones, but that's not always the case. 

A few weeks ago there was this spark of a thought in me that I should join choir.  Every other time I had thought about it all year, I thought: No, I don't have enough time.. or money.. or my brain came up with another excuse.  And I didn't feel like it, I really just didn't want to.  Then randomly and all of the sudden I wanted to.  Quite badly actually. 
So I emailed the choir teacher and told her I'd get with my counselor and tell her which choir classes my schedule would allow me to take.  That appointment with my counselor will be on Monday.  I'm kinda anxious to see how it goes.. because I really do want to be in the choir program again.  I did it my freshman year, and Loved it.  I had reasons for stopping rather than auditioning.. but now I've changed my mind. 
I had another thought but I forgotted it. OH! Forgotted. That reminds me of Scales.  Who I've finally been talking to and hanging out with again.  I just gotta say, I've missed that girly. A LOT!  I pretty much always have super duper fun times with her.That's all for now folks.  See you next time on
Kiki's Incredibly Random Posts!
da da da duuuuum! :D
-- Love,
Kiki.

Maui!

I've now realized I didn't ever blog ANYTHING about Hawaii.  Bad Kiki. No cookie.
SO!! This post is about Hawaii! :D (I'll probably be copying out of my journal for a lot of it.. edited, of course.)

Thursday, July 15 2010.  Reno, Nev. to Sunnyvale, CA.
Day of the Dog Lufa
This morning we were in Reno [not Rino] at Steve's house.  We started traveling just after 10 AM and arrived in Sunnyvale (close to San Jose) around 3:30 PM.  I got all sicky in the car.  We think it was sour milk... whatever it was, it wasn't fun.  We arrived and were attacked by Sheila and her boys.  Grandma came out too, but she doesn't attack.  TallTanGeek [I know, uber creative nickname.. I'll think of a better one when I feel like it] isn't here, he's working... at a big state scout camp or something.  I MISS HIM!  It's enough to almost make me cry.  I LOVE my geeky cousin. :)  He'll be here when we get back from Hawaii :)
We went to the park with Ben, MasterMind, Sam, and OBaby.  They were playing Lava Tag (or something of a similar title) and.. a 'new friend' joined in.  Definitely a very.. friendly.. friend.  We didn't stay long.
We then went to Sweet Tomatoes.  YUM!  I ate too much.. but not as much too much as I usually do there.  And of that I was proud.

Friday, July 16, 2010. Maui, HI.
The Day of Warm Ocean
 We are IN Hawaii!  In an island called Maui.  It takes all day to drive around it, but we're only going to go that far when we go to the other side of it to the black sand beach.  It's black because of lava rocks :D  Anyway I'm SUPER excited!  Sometime, The Muffin is going to take my senior pics outside in the beautiful flowery/ pooly area.  Yay!  And the ocean is WARM!  I heart it!  I want to spend a LOT of time on the beach.  We went to a fish restaurant today.  The Sands of Kahuna [spelling may be incorrect] and I had swordfish!  It was tasty.  And I discovered that I like shrimp (after years of not liking it at all).  I wouldn't try mushrooms though. No, no.  I already get easily queezy these past couple days.  P.S. I need more sleep.
Oh, P.S. again.  I wrote a postcard to my friends, I just have yet to send it off because I need to look up the address and get a postage stamp.
Another P.S.  Plantation.  Tour. Learned a bit about different foiloage here.  Coconuts actually have coconut water, not milk.  If it's white [instead of clear] it will give you diarrhea.. eeew..

Saturday, July 17, 2010.  Maui, HI.
The Day of Water in My Air.
...and cute boy :D
Today we went to a boring orientation at the hotel... but they had pineapple and fruit drink and donuts.  After that we went to the beach!  Yay!  I Love the water here!  So warm and stuff.  And the sand isn't all ouch to your feet like it is in Oregon... After beachness... oh wait, go back.  While we were enjoying the ocean, we got salt water in our eyes and mouths... "Salt water on YOU, salt water on ya FAMILY, salt water on ya COW!..." hahaha :D
Then we went shopping.  I bought a sarong (which ripped D: exchanging it tomorrow) a shark tooth necklace, a plumeria ( a flower that's like a frangipani only I learned frangipani's are Tahitian, not Hawaiin) bracelet, and we got shell necklaces free when we walked in with a friendly Aloha.  I Love Hawaii. :)  At random stores around where we ate I got an Abalone necklace (very pretty) and two aqua marine shells to put on necklaces for Twin and I (at the Lahaina Scrimshaw - carving of ivory ~ bone of elephant, mammoth, walrus and such) the shells screamed Claire. :D  I also got pineapple keychains for friends and a surfboard keychain for LittleSis at the ABC store.  While shopping downtown Lahaina, we passed a fiddle player.  We gave him our spare change.  He made his fingerboard out of abalone! So beautiful!  He also let mom play his fiddle!!  The fiddle had a place for 5 strings.  there were 4 on it.  We saw a painter, too.  He asked if we were from 'parkasity' ... huh?  OH, Park City... haha. He painted very well.  Another incident down Front Street... :) ... as we were walking we hear someone say "Aloha" and my grandma says "Aloha" back.  I turned to see who it was and.. well refer to the subtitle of today :D  Yes, he was really cute.  Muffin agreed. :)  She "took a picture of me" [but was really trying to take a picture of him] but we were too far away by then to get a good one and then he walked away.  Sad day :(  It was a puppy pout moment.  Muffin then resolved to take pictures with every cute guy she saw there.


Monday, July 19, 2010. Maui, HI.
The Day of Happy Milk.
Why?  Mostly because MasterMind waster feeling good and she thought RiceDream would help.  that, water, and deep breathing DID help.  But Mind said it's her happy milk.  Also!  We had fresh coconut water (which people think is milk.. but if it's not clean it will actually make you sicky.  Although!  The meat in the coconut can be made into a milk.  And THAT isn't the sicky stuff :))  It was good!  We also went to the beach. Again. :D  And... lunch at the plantation.  But we all agreed it wasn't very good.  Grandma said it used to be much better.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010. Maui, HI.
Picture Day.
Senior pics.. were like any photoshoot, really.  Some shots I liked a LOT and some.. not so much.  but it was good :)  Later, we made leis and had a pro photoshoot here at the resort!  It took a laaarge chunk out of our beach time, which The Muffin was really unhappy about.. but I liked it.  We even bought the photos.  Well, grandma did.  Thanks grandma :)  We got the CD too, so I'll be posting later.. some in my senior pics album because we took some individuals.  :)
Later we went to K... something beach.  It was kinda rocky but cool  Muffin and Mind swam with turtles! Awesome!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010.  Maui, HI.
Snorkel day! 
Now I've swam with turtles too!  :D  I got really tired and sore though.. we went to another K... something beach.  It's been my favorite so far.  Sand - not rock - even in deeper water.  Soft on the feet :D  That night was.. some preteen drama.  Oh MasterMind...

Thursday, July 22, 2010. Maui, HI.
Trip to Hana!
We went to the black sand beach!  It was cool!  We also went to Ohaio [spelled wrong I know it..] Gulch.  Otherwise known as the seven sacred pools.  COLD and windy.. but so so beautiful and fun to climb!  The road to Hana is a hard one.  Narrow, up the mountain, windy, makes you very carsick, scary, people needing to pass on a one and a half car size road.. it was quite the adventure. :)


Saturday, July 24, 2010.  Sunnyvale, CA.
The Day of the Opera Truck
So we have now come back to California!  It was sad to leave HI... but I'm going to be glad to be home.  AND while we're still in CA for a day I get to see TallTanGeek!  [That name keeps making me laugh.. maybe I'll keep it after all :D]
We attacked TTG as soon as he was in the garage :D  We talked for a bit and got on the subject of Toy Story 3.  TTG had seen it, but Muffin and Kiki had not!  So....
"I have a truck!"
"I have money!"
"I have money too!"
And we were off :D  I absolutely adore last minute adventures! :D
On the way there Phantom of the Opera music came on TTG's Mp3 and Muffin and I sang with it.  We had the windows down and TTG told us later people were looking at us really funny.  :D
This reminded me of an earlier incident that I don't think I've written about yet... We were coming back from shopping or something and we drove through a smallish parking lot.  I see this guy (a couple of guys, actually) and I don't really look at him [note to self, smile at all cute guys while on vacation.  (or anywhere..) Especially if you know he's looking at you. Eedoy.  Now if I could actually have the unshyness to make myself start doing that, that would be an accomplishment.] but anyway the next I really see of him he's bumped into his friend (who was right in front of him...) Muffin then laughs and says
"That guy was was totally checking Kiki out, didn't pay attention, and ran into his friend."
my mom added
"That's what it looked like to me, too."
It was all rather flattering and thinking back on it I do kinda remember him looking like he was looking at me.  Woah run on sentence. :P  So he could have been looking at me.  Now you understand my note to self from earlier.. :)
Hang on. Wrist stretch.  Ow.  Don't wanna get carpel tunnel.. or however you spell it..
Anyway, back to Toy Story 3.  SO GOOD!  It made me cry.. but I'm such a BABY lately that that's not much of a surprise.  It was all so cleverly made and the dialogue was bery bery goot. :)  Great job Disney Pixar!
I'm going to miss TTG.  A LOT!  I don't know when I'll next see him.. probably years from now!  He's moving!  And going on his mission probably soonish.  I Love this guy :)
I miss my friends at home!  I can't wait to see them!!
That's the end :D There's your HI and Cali update.  I Love you all!
--Kiki