Brother Griffin made a really good analogy in class this week. In comparing Laman and Lemuel to Nephi. How they are thermometers (reactors) and he is a thermostat (actor). A thermometer tells you when it's too cold or too hot, while a thermostat will say "It's too cold, I'll make it warmer." To be a thermostat, you need to exercise faith in the Lord and *take the next step*, even if you don't know what the outcome will be. These steps related to receiving revelation. When we receive guidance from the Lord, we need to act on it in order to receive the next step in the plan, or the next bit of revelation. What is even MORE amazing, is that, this plan is the "blueprint" that's designed to make us into temples, or an extension of Heaven. I absolutely Love how well all of these concepts connect, and it gives me *huge* motivation to be better, to be like Nephi. Or, as Brother Griffin has said before:
"Try a little harder to be a little better, take another step of faith today."
Today. Nephi always acted right away, and that's one of the reasons I look up to him as an example of how to be. Taking a step of faith sooner, rather than later, brings up more revelation and more blessings. Something else Brother Griffin said that I really liked was: "Don't stand there paralyzed for too long." Act. Take a step of faith. These concepts are so amazing to me, and I'm incredibly grateful they are accessible to us in the scriptures.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
I Be
I don't always see things clear
And you don't like when my words give you fear
There's no such thing as perfect Love
So I may ask you: "What counts as close enough?"
You don't always treat me right
(But we all make mistakes)
And we seem to have the tendency to fight
(Forgive if that's what it takes)
When it looks like we can't get along
We hash it out and come back looking strong
Oh, where would I be without you
To keep me, build me?
Where would I be to let go
If you dropped me, spilled me?
How would I feel
If what's real-lost it's zeal-and it wouldn't
Heal?
It forces me to think
Where would I be?
If my Love for you
Is too broad or ill-defined
Or it seems the same
As others in my mind
Just know I don't always have the cure
I can't always give a strong and firm for sure
So please let me be who I be
One still building, learning
Just let me be, who I be
Know that I am yearning
To just be me
Who I be.
Oh, where would I be without you
To keep me, build me?
Where would I be to let go
Because you spilled me
Onto the floor
But then you -picked me up-and gave me
More
I can't just be me
A new girl you helped me see
Yes, you helped to build
Who I be.
And you don't like when my words give you fear
There's no such thing as perfect Love
So I may ask you: "What counts as close enough?"
You don't always treat me right
(But we all make mistakes)
And we seem to have the tendency to fight
(Forgive if that's what it takes)
When it looks like we can't get along
We hash it out and come back looking strong
Oh, where would I be without you
To keep me, build me?
Where would I be to let go
If you dropped me, spilled me?
How would I feel
If what's real-lost it's zeal-and it wouldn't
Heal?
It forces me to think
Where would I be?
If my Love for you
Is too broad or ill-defined
Or it seems the same
As others in my mind
Just know I don't always have the cure
I can't always give a strong and firm for sure
So please let me be who I be
One still building, learning
Just let me be, who I be
Know that I am yearning
To just be me
Who I be.
Oh, where would I be without you
To keep me, build me?
Where would I be to let go
Because you spilled me
Onto the floor
But then you -picked me up-and gave me
More
I can't just be me
A new girl you helped me see
Yes, you helped to build
Who I be.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Shape
1 Nephi 17 gave me many insights, and I'm very glad I had the Spirit with me so I could focus enough to have the thoughts that I did.
Verses 7, 9, 10, 11 and 16: When Nephi was commanded to go and build a ship, he went right away. He was quick to obey. Not only that, but he didn't ask the Lord to GIVE him tools. He asked Him where he could find the means to make them himself. Nephi will do all he can, and *then* ask for Divine assistance. Nephi is a do-er! I want to try to be more like Nephi and work on DOing more, and asking less. I get the feeling that, the more we DO, the more the Lord blesses us. And His blessings help us, so: The more we try on our own, the more help God will give us. What a cool thought. :)
Verse 41: There were a couple of things that struck me in this verse. One was the word 'straiten'. We talked a bit about the word 'strait' in context of the Strait and Narrow earlier this week. Basically, it means a narrow or rigorous path. It's interesting to me that it's used here, and I think what Nephi means by it is that God SHAPED, or molded, them in the wilderness; He helped them be the people He needed them to be. Thinking this brought up a couple questions: "Where or what is my wilderness?" and "How is the Lord shaping me?"
Another thing I picked up from this verse is the simplicity of the healing serpent. Often, the Lord gives us very simple help. Sometimes so simple that we don't think we can believe in it. **Do it anyway.** You will benefit.
Very strong impressions as I read this week. I'm so grateful for the Spirit and His ability to bring us divine thought. :)
I Love this Gospel!
I may write a poem with the same title as this blog post. Because it feels like it should be one. We shall see.
Much Love!
Kiki :)
Verses 7, 9, 10, 11 and 16: When Nephi was commanded to go and build a ship, he went right away. He was quick to obey. Not only that, but he didn't ask the Lord to GIVE him tools. He asked Him where he could find the means to make them himself. Nephi will do all he can, and *then* ask for Divine assistance. Nephi is a do-er! I want to try to be more like Nephi and work on DOing more, and asking less. I get the feeling that, the more we DO, the more the Lord blesses us. And His blessings help us, so: The more we try on our own, the more help God will give us. What a cool thought. :)
Verse 41: There were a couple of things that struck me in this verse. One was the word 'straiten'. We talked a bit about the word 'strait' in context of the Strait and Narrow earlier this week. Basically, it means a narrow or rigorous path. It's interesting to me that it's used here, and I think what Nephi means by it is that God SHAPED, or molded, them in the wilderness; He helped them be the people He needed them to be. Thinking this brought up a couple questions: "Where or what is my wilderness?" and "How is the Lord shaping me?"
Another thing I picked up from this verse is the simplicity of the healing serpent. Often, the Lord gives us very simple help. Sometimes so simple that we don't think we can believe in it. **Do it anyway.** You will benefit.
Very strong impressions as I read this week. I'm so grateful for the Spirit and His ability to bring us divine thought. :)
I Love this Gospel!
I may write a poem with the same title as this blog post. Because it feels like it should be one. We shall see.
Much Love!
Kiki :)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Thoughts
Disclaimer: This post has the potential to be very, very random.
Why? Because I'm writing about thoughts, which also have the potential to be very, very random. Right now, I'm going to write about some specific thoughts that I've been having very recently. Actually, pieces of these thoughts have been entering my mind over the past year and a half or so, but I think they've finally come together. The thing is, I thought they had come together already, a few months ago. BUT now they have been added on to, and they're coming-togetherness makes more sense and, actually, gives me great pleasure. It gives me much joy to present: MY THOUGHTS. (Which is what I normally do on here anyway, so this shouldn't come as much of a surprise.)
So what HAVE I been thinking about as of late? Well, I just finished reading a section in my Humanities book that talked about writing about the arts. I won't go into detail about that, because what I want to say pertains to more than just that.. and I don't feel like writing about those thoughts. Also, yesterday, I read a chapter in my Drawing 101 class about Art Appreciation. Or understanding art, or something like that. In reading these two texts, it came to me, once again, how much I enjoy studying Humanities type subjects, especially when it comes to the meaning and beauty of art. Something about it just invigorates my mind and soul and makes me SO happy to learn about. So happy. I want to just keep learning about it, and learning about it, and learning about it.
Maybe this is what it feels like when you find something that you think is 'what you're supposed to do' or 'the thing that's right for you'. There are a few ways I could go with this desire that I have found. I could major in Art History, minor in Humanities, and get a teaching degree so I could teach Art History! This career choice is actually something I think I would ENJOY doing, because I would have the opportunity to share my Love and appreciation for art and the reasoning of great artists. (And not so great artists, because oftentimes they have beautiful thoughts and works, too.) I would LOVE that! However, I know teaching isn't the most secure career to go into, by any means. But I'm beginning to think that's a career I would really like. AND I would Love to be an art critic. Though building a reputation for that is probably quite difficult, and I don't know if I'd ever be able to make a name for myself in so doing.. in this life. But, frankly, it's worth a shot. When there's a will, there's a way. And my will is to make my career something I really enjoy. And guess whhaaaatt? I enjoy art. I enjoy studying it, analyzing it, and the excitement that comes when I feel like I know something about a work or genre of works. I don't know how to explain how amazing all of this is to me. I Love art! I'm so glad I took that AP Art History class, even though it was very time consuming. It helped me develop the appreciation for art that I've always had, but never really focused on.
That Art History class.. hm. Maybe one of the reason I Love it so much is because of all the work I put into it. My wise instructor, adopted older brother, and one of my best friends said to me recently: "When you put that much dedication, work, and energy into something, you become passionate about it; it will never leave your heart. If you stop it, there will be a lingering void, and you will want to come back to it." (That may not be EXACTLY what he said, word for word, but it's close enough and portrays what me meant pretty dang well.) I find this entirely true. So, maybe, anything I put that much effort into I will come to Love.
To a certain extent.
The reason I specify with the above comment is... in order to put enough effort into something for Passion to happen, you have to have some sort of liking of it in the first place. There are things I've worked hard on that I don't necessarily feel connected to. I think this whole Passion thing is a continual process.. like this:
Desire: No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, one must have the desire to do something before they are willing to put TRUE EFFORT into it.
Work: The hard stuff. Practicing. Fixing mistakes until you can not only get it right, but no longer get it wrong. (That is advice from another one of my instructors, who I also admire.)
Passion: Like my wise friend told me, this passion is a result of real effort. After desire, the more effort one puts into it, the more passion they will develop for it.
More work.
Increased passion.
More work.
More increased passion.
More work.
More increased passion.
Get the picture?
Anyway, those were.. my thoughts! And they took up a lot of space. Well, thank you for your time. Much Love! :)
--Kiki
Why? Because I'm writing about thoughts, which also have the potential to be very, very random. Right now, I'm going to write about some specific thoughts that I've been having very recently. Actually, pieces of these thoughts have been entering my mind over the past year and a half or so, but I think they've finally come together. The thing is, I thought they had come together already, a few months ago. BUT now they have been added on to, and they're coming-togetherness makes more sense and, actually, gives me great pleasure. It gives me much joy to present: MY THOUGHTS. (Which is what I normally do on here anyway, so this shouldn't come as much of a surprise.)
So what HAVE I been thinking about as of late? Well, I just finished reading a section in my Humanities book that talked about writing about the arts. I won't go into detail about that, because what I want to say pertains to more than just that.. and I don't feel like writing about those thoughts. Also, yesterday, I read a chapter in my Drawing 101 class about Art Appreciation. Or understanding art, or something like that. In reading these two texts, it came to me, once again, how much I enjoy studying Humanities type subjects, especially when it comes to the meaning and beauty of art. Something about it just invigorates my mind and soul and makes me SO happy to learn about. So happy. I want to just keep learning about it, and learning about it, and learning about it.
Maybe this is what it feels like when you find something that you think is 'what you're supposed to do' or 'the thing that's right for you'. There are a few ways I could go with this desire that I have found. I could major in Art History, minor in Humanities, and get a teaching degree so I could teach Art History! This career choice is actually something I think I would ENJOY doing, because I would have the opportunity to share my Love and appreciation for art and the reasoning of great artists. (And not so great artists, because oftentimes they have beautiful thoughts and works, too.) I would LOVE that! However, I know teaching isn't the most secure career to go into, by any means. But I'm beginning to think that's a career I would really like. AND I would Love to be an art critic. Though building a reputation for that is probably quite difficult, and I don't know if I'd ever be able to make a name for myself in so doing.. in this life. But, frankly, it's worth a shot. When there's a will, there's a way. And my will is to make my career something I really enjoy. And guess whhaaaatt? I enjoy art. I enjoy studying it, analyzing it, and the excitement that comes when I feel like I know something about a work or genre of works. I don't know how to explain how amazing all of this is to me. I Love art! I'm so glad I took that AP Art History class, even though it was very time consuming. It helped me develop the appreciation for art that I've always had, but never really focused on.
That Art History class.. hm. Maybe one of the reason I Love it so much is because of all the work I put into it. My wise instructor, adopted older brother, and one of my best friends said to me recently: "When you put that much dedication, work, and energy into something, you become passionate about it; it will never leave your heart. If you stop it, there will be a lingering void, and you will want to come back to it." (That may not be EXACTLY what he said, word for word, but it's close enough and portrays what me meant pretty dang well.) I find this entirely true. So, maybe, anything I put that much effort into I will come to Love.
To a certain extent.
The reason I specify with the above comment is... in order to put enough effort into something for Passion to happen, you have to have some sort of liking of it in the first place. There are things I've worked hard on that I don't necessarily feel connected to. I think this whole Passion thing is a continual process.. like this:
Desire: No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, one must have the desire to do something before they are willing to put TRUE EFFORT into it.
Work: The hard stuff. Practicing. Fixing mistakes until you can not only get it right, but no longer get it wrong. (That is advice from another one of my instructors, who I also admire.)
Passion: Like my wise friend told me, this passion is a result of real effort. After desire, the more effort one puts into it, the more passion they will develop for it.
More work.
Increased passion.
More work.
More increased passion.
More work.
More increased passion.
Get the picture?
Anyway, those were.. my thoughts! And they took up a lot of space. Well, thank you for your time. Much Love! :)
--Kiki
Sunday, September 11, 2011
And The Farmboy Does It Again!
Brother Griffin said that about five times this week. I like it, because it is an expression of how wonderful the Book of Mormon is, and how grateful we are that Joseph Smith (the farmboy) helped give it to us.
1 Nephi 10: 8. "...prepare ye the way of the Lord." I don't know about the rest of you, but reading that instantly reminded me of those cartoon-church-movies I watched as a kid. I think they were a series called "The Miracles of Love" or something like that. In my house, we called them "Jesus movies". As I read this verse, it came to me how such profound teachings are put into church media, like those kid movies. Also, I knew what prophet Nephi was referring to because of those movies. I remember the song with those words in it, and how they played it while showing the John the Baptist portion of the movie. We are taught of the Prophets, through these movies and other church media, from a very young age. This is amazing, and tells me that Heavenly Father really does inspire those in charge of church functions in order to help his saints progress. The church is true! :)
Oh, and a special thanks to Momma S. for cheering me up the other night.
Sorry for the short post. I have many a thought but they're not even close to organized yet. More to come later. :)
<3 Stripes
1 Nephi 10: 8. "...prepare ye the way of the Lord." I don't know about the rest of you, but reading that instantly reminded me of those cartoon-church-movies I watched as a kid. I think they were a series called "The Miracles of Love" or something like that. In my house, we called them "Jesus movies". As I read this verse, it came to me how such profound teachings are put into church media, like those kid movies. Also, I knew what prophet Nephi was referring to because of those movies. I remember the song with those words in it, and how they played it while showing the John the Baptist portion of the movie. We are taught of the Prophets, through these movies and other church media, from a very young age. This is amazing, and tells me that Heavenly Father really does inspire those in charge of church functions in order to help his saints progress. The church is true! :)
Oh, and a special thanks to Momma S. for cheering me up the other night.
Sorry for the short post. I have many a thought but they're not even close to organized yet. More to come later. :)
<3 Stripes
Thursday, September 1, 2011
I Love BYU
I'm learning SO much at college. It's crazy to think about. Right now, I want to talk about my BoM class. Brother Griffin is AMAZING! Even after only two classes, I've already learned new ways to think about things and it's really really cool! Here's some of the stuff I wrote in my scripture journal this week:
Something I really liked in lectures this week was a comment Bro. Griffin made about the veil. He mentioned how, when we see Heavenly Father again, we will be shocked by how well we know Him. We will wonder how it's possible that we ever forgot Him. Bro. Griffin said the veil is thick enough to stop us from remembering a lot of what we know about Him. Then he said: "I hope we can help make that veil a little thinner, help you see yourself a little more how God sees you." I really liked the idea that, as we seek and learn about our Father, we can, in a sense, "thin the veil" and know more of Him, bringing ourselves closer to Him.
1 Nephi 3:7. "I will go and do the things which the Lord has commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commanded them. I know this is a very widely used verse, and I have thought about it before, but new meaning came from it as I read it today. While I was in my Humanities class, my professor was discussing the important of general education. She mentioned how the people who come up with the required generals BYU students have to take are on the board of trustees. These people are apostles. So, our "generals" are part of what God wants us to learn. He doesn't give a commandment without preparing a way for us to accomplish it. In other words, we can do it! *I* can do it. Because He has prepared a way for me to succeed. It was a powerful moment.
I can already tell that this class is going to be very different for me than high school seminary was. Not to downgrade seminary, I absolutely Love it too! I'm really enjoying my time at BYU and am gaining a new excitement for culture and learning.
Tata for now!
Kiki
Something I really liked in lectures this week was a comment Bro. Griffin made about the veil. He mentioned how, when we see Heavenly Father again, we will be shocked by how well we know Him. We will wonder how it's possible that we ever forgot Him. Bro. Griffin said the veil is thick enough to stop us from remembering a lot of what we know about Him. Then he said: "I hope we can help make that veil a little thinner, help you see yourself a little more how God sees you." I really liked the idea that, as we seek and learn about our Father, we can, in a sense, "thin the veil" and know more of Him, bringing ourselves closer to Him.
1 Nephi 3:7. "I will go and do the things which the Lord has commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commanded them. I know this is a very widely used verse, and I have thought about it before, but new meaning came from it as I read it today. While I was in my Humanities class, my professor was discussing the important of general education. She mentioned how the people who come up with the required generals BYU students have to take are on the board of trustees. These people are apostles. So, our "generals" are part of what God wants us to learn. He doesn't give a commandment without preparing a way for us to accomplish it. In other words, we can do it! *I* can do it. Because He has prepared a way for me to succeed. It was a powerful moment.
I can already tell that this class is going to be very different for me than high school seminary was. Not to downgrade seminary, I absolutely Love it too! I'm really enjoying my time at BYU and am gaining a new excitement for culture and learning.
Tata for now!
Kiki
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Just Begun
There is a girl who I've just begun to know
Complex and somewhat contained
And as more about her began to show
I saw what had long been restrained
She who looks confident, upbeat
She'll smile
More understanding, then she'll retreat
For a while
Is it fair that, when I've started to see,
And my mind settled on what she could be
All of the sudden life will force her to change
What I only just learned will be re-arranged
This girl who I thought I knew
And was beginning to understand
As this change continues to brew
How can I reach out and take her hand?
Looking to the examples of others
Seeking comfort and guidance from Fathers and mothers
My perception is limited, more must be won
But is that possible, when she has only just begun?
Complex and somewhat contained
And as more about her began to show
I saw what had long been restrained
She who looks confident, upbeat
She'll smile
More understanding, then she'll retreat
For a while
Is it fair that, when I've started to see,
And my mind settled on what she could be
All of the sudden life will force her to change
What I only just learned will be re-arranged
This girl who I thought I knew
And was beginning to understand
As this change continues to brew
How can I reach out and take her hand?
Looking to the examples of others
Seeking comfort and guidance from Fathers and mothers
My perception is limited, more must be won
But is that possible, when she has only just begun?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Growing Up?
So, it's been a while. Well, I post the poems I write, but I haven't written an actual post in a while. So, here I go.
I have learned SO much in the past few months. About myself, friends, family, and life in general. And because of the stuff I've learned, I'm a different person. Well, I'm still me. But I'm a more careful me. And I've become more aware of things in my life, especially about myself, that I need to work on. This is mostly due to my MARVELOUS adopted family, the Shelley's. They have helped me find ME so so much. How I look at life and the things in it is definitely different, but I am quite happy. Happy.. in a different way than I ever have been. I wouldn't say "more happy" necessarily, but happy on a greater level. I have been very very happy like this before, but this feels deeper and more real. Just like everything else in my life. Deeper. More real. Think about that. So many things in my life before the past six or seven months were very superficial. There were things like my passion for Marching Band, the Love I had for my friends (well actually sometimes that was a little shallow, too...)
Now that I think about it, none of the things in my life have never felt THIS REAL before. I have a new and greater appreciated for so many things. My testimony is stronger. I Love in a deeper way than I thought possible to Love. I'm not as scared of certain things anymore. I'm still unstable about some things, you know, I'm human. But I've become aware in ways that are a first step to fixing it. I feel so much more satisfied with life in general. My very good friend Gladiator brought this up a little while ago. And he's quite happy for me. I'm grateful he cares. More than I know how to say.
More than I know how to say. I've been saying and feeling that a lot lately. It's part of this 'deeper' concept. Things have become SO real and deep that I find it hard to describe just how much is involved. How much feeling, thought, reality, everything.
I've been extremely thoughtful today, as you can probably tell. When I write about fun things, well, I write.. well.. with a LOT of enthusiasm. Really. ^_^ When I write like this.. I'm thoughtful. Well I guess most of my posts here have leaned more toward the excited way. I think college is influencing my writing and thinking processes. haha. SPEAKING OF!
I finished a 32 page Essay Book for my Family Processes class today. :D It feels like SUCH an accomplishment! That class has helped me in so many ways. Well, in connection with all the other influences I've had it has. I can't help thinking all of this was supposed to happen at the same time. Along with getting closer to the Shelley's.. and the influences of college... I've gotten closer to my dad. This has also resulted in my having more insights about life, because he is a VERY wise person. I've also been discovering that many many of my tendencies are like his. I am more like my dad than I used to think, and it's a fun and exciting thing to discover. :) I Love my dad!
I know I do this a LOT. But there are a few people I'd like to thank for helping me through the past few months.
Yaker. My amazing boyfriend. He makes me feel like I'm in a dream. Or a romantic-comedy. There are so many times when he does things so perfectly and according to what I really like that I wonder if it's all real. He has made me happy on countless occasions and helped me get to know myself as I get to know him. He's one of the best guys that I've ever met, and I Love him more than I've ever Loved anyone else. Besides family.. maybe. Ok that's unfair, because the Love I feel for them is on a different level. I didn't think the level of Love I have for Yaker even existed. He brings me SO much Joy. :)
Gladiator. He has earned my absolute trust in so many ways. And helped me through so many tough times. I will forever be in debt to his friendship and kindness.
MommaS. She's so crazy and fun. She has helped me through quite a few tough times too. I am so so grateful I know her. I Love her so very much. :)
Cookanoove. Even though I only knew him for all of a month before he went on a mission, he helped me in my life too. And continues to with his letters from Florida.
Beekanoove. Iwubyoumoost! This girl is so much fun. She makes me laugh endlessly and accepts me for who I am despite all the very strange things I do. I Love her too.
MrDarcy. My amazing padre. The talks I've had with him recently have helped me so very much. And all the help he's given me with college? I'll always always always be ever so grateful for him. I Love you dad!
Soza. The small acts and words of kindness and reassurance he gives me are more help than he could ever know. This guy has helped me so much in the past three years. Thank you.
Poker. Despite our childish banter, we have tons and tons of fun. Not only that, he has helped me feel better on a few bad days.
Twin. As always. I Love my Soul Sister. FOR LIFE. :D
Sleepy (or J.B., whichever). Though we don't talk a whole lot, when we do I feel rejuvenated and happy. This guy is so sincere and caring, and it shows. I'm grateful for him as well.
Blunt Guitar Man. Advice Advice Advice! We have had quite a few long talks. He makes me feel important and sometimes says things that help me SO much I can't even describe.. :)
TheMuffin. We have had a few sister dates and they have been quite awesome, if I say so myself. I Love her.
Timon (D~). With his listening ear and reassuring words.
RFarm. She's so beautiful and fun and has helped me be happy more than once in the past little while. I Love her!
MooseP. Super fun. Spastic. Always brings out the silly me. I Love this girl SO very very much!
There are so many people who have helped me throughout.. life! But these are the ones who've made a rather strong impression on me as of late. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sincerely, Stripes
I have learned SO much in the past few months. About myself, friends, family, and life in general. And because of the stuff I've learned, I'm a different person. Well, I'm still me. But I'm a more careful me. And I've become more aware of things in my life, especially about myself, that I need to work on. This is mostly due to my MARVELOUS adopted family, the Shelley's. They have helped me find ME so so much. How I look at life and the things in it is definitely different, but I am quite happy. Happy.. in a different way than I ever have been. I wouldn't say "more happy" necessarily, but happy on a greater level. I have been very very happy like this before, but this feels deeper and more real. Just like everything else in my life. Deeper. More real. Think about that. So many things in my life before the past six or seven months were very superficial. There were things like my passion for Marching Band, the Love I had for my friends (well actually sometimes that was a little shallow, too...)
Now that I think about it, none of the things in my life have never felt THIS REAL before. I have a new and greater appreciated for so many things. My testimony is stronger. I Love in a deeper way than I thought possible to Love. I'm not as scared of certain things anymore. I'm still unstable about some things, you know, I'm human. But I've become aware in ways that are a first step to fixing it. I feel so much more satisfied with life in general. My very good friend Gladiator brought this up a little while ago. And he's quite happy for me. I'm grateful he cares. More than I know how to say.
More than I know how to say. I've been saying and feeling that a lot lately. It's part of this 'deeper' concept. Things have become SO real and deep that I find it hard to describe just how much is involved. How much feeling, thought, reality, everything.
I've been extremely thoughtful today, as you can probably tell. When I write about fun things, well, I write.. well.. with a LOT of enthusiasm. Really. ^_^ When I write like this.. I'm thoughtful. Well I guess most of my posts here have leaned more toward the excited way. I think college is influencing my writing and thinking processes. haha. SPEAKING OF!
I finished a 32 page Essay Book for my Family Processes class today. :D It feels like SUCH an accomplishment! That class has helped me in so many ways. Well, in connection with all the other influences I've had it has. I can't help thinking all of this was supposed to happen at the same time. Along with getting closer to the Shelley's.. and the influences of college... I've gotten closer to my dad. This has also resulted in my having more insights about life, because he is a VERY wise person. I've also been discovering that many many of my tendencies are like his. I am more like my dad than I used to think, and it's a fun and exciting thing to discover. :) I Love my dad!
I know I do this a LOT. But there are a few people I'd like to thank for helping me through the past few months.
Yaker. My amazing boyfriend. He makes me feel like I'm in a dream. Or a romantic-comedy. There are so many times when he does things so perfectly and according to what I really like that I wonder if it's all real. He has made me happy on countless occasions and helped me get to know myself as I get to know him. He's one of the best guys that I've ever met, and I Love him more than I've ever Loved anyone else. Besides family.. maybe. Ok that's unfair, because the Love I feel for them is on a different level. I didn't think the level of Love I have for Yaker even existed. He brings me SO much Joy. :)
Gladiator. He has earned my absolute trust in so many ways. And helped me through so many tough times. I will forever be in debt to his friendship and kindness.
MommaS. She's so crazy and fun. She has helped me through quite a few tough times too. I am so so grateful I know her. I Love her so very much. :)
Cookanoove. Even though I only knew him for all of a month before he went on a mission, he helped me in my life too. And continues to with his letters from Florida.
Beekanoove. Iwubyoumoost! This girl is so much fun. She makes me laugh endlessly and accepts me for who I am despite all the very strange things I do. I Love her too.
MrDarcy. My amazing padre. The talks I've had with him recently have helped me so very much. And all the help he's given me with college? I'll always always always be ever so grateful for him. I Love you dad!
Soza. The small acts and words of kindness and reassurance he gives me are more help than he could ever know. This guy has helped me so much in the past three years. Thank you.
Poker. Despite our childish banter, we have tons and tons of fun. Not only that, he has helped me feel better on a few bad days.
Twin. As always. I Love my Soul Sister. FOR LIFE. :D
Sleepy (or J.B., whichever). Though we don't talk a whole lot, when we do I feel rejuvenated and happy. This guy is so sincere and caring, and it shows. I'm grateful for him as well.
Blunt Guitar Man. Advice Advice Advice! We have had quite a few long talks. He makes me feel important and sometimes says things that help me SO much I can't even describe.. :)
TheMuffin. We have had a few sister dates and they have been quite awesome, if I say so myself. I Love her.
Timon (D~). With his listening ear and reassuring words.
RFarm. She's so beautiful and fun and has helped me be happy more than once in the past little while. I Love her!
MooseP. Super fun. Spastic. Always brings out the silly me. I Love this girl SO very very much!
There are so many people who have helped me throughout.. life! But these are the ones who've made a rather strong impression on me as of late. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sincerely, Stripes
Friday, July 29, 2011
Sweeter
Some sing sweeter when they're on the verge of tears
Greater courage when you've had a million fears
Grasping time after only a few years
Ever faster will it flow
Moving on and letting go
Flex the old, establish new
Keep what you hold true
See this new phase of life begin
The chill of worry settles in
Shiver, breathe, and move along
Even when things may go wrong
Don't freeze yourself looking for a heater
Just make every moment sweeter
To the great and unfathomable the mind expands
Remember to leave it in His hands
Live now, you have a job to do
Not re-create His. Focus on you.
Don't lose yourself looking for life's meter
Just make every moment sweeter
Some sing...
Sing in your heart
Sing out loud
Make those happy memories crowd
Sweeten the start
Sweeten the day
Let a joyful moment play
Grasping time after only a few years
Greater courage when you've had a million fears
Yes, there is meaning behind those tears!
Have the Faith that each wall clears
That He your crying hears
Don't let yourself succumb to the Faith Eater
Jut make every moment sweeter
Thank you to all of those who've helped me in the past few days. Actually, you have helped me much more than the past little while, so thank you for all of it. You really have helped more than you probably know. :)
Greater courage when you've had a million fears
Grasping time after only a few years
Ever faster will it flow
Moving on and letting go
Flex the old, establish new
Keep what you hold true
See this new phase of life begin
The chill of worry settles in
Shiver, breathe, and move along
Even when things may go wrong
Don't freeze yourself looking for a heater
Just make every moment sweeter
To the great and unfathomable the mind expands
Remember to leave it in His hands
Live now, you have a job to do
Not re-create His. Focus on you.
Don't lose yourself looking for life's meter
Just make every moment sweeter
Some sing...
Sing in your heart
Sing out loud
Make those happy memories crowd
Sweeten the start
Sweeten the day
Let a joyful moment play
Grasping time after only a few years
Greater courage when you've had a million fears
Yes, there is meaning behind those tears!
Have the Faith that each wall clears
That He your crying hears
Don't let yourself succumb to the Faith Eater
Jut make every moment sweeter
Thank you to all of those who've helped me in the past few days. Actually, you have helped me much more than the past little while, so thank you for all of it. You really have helped more than you probably know. :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Invite
This was inspired by the lesson we had in relief society today. The main focus of the lesson was that conference talk about Good, Better, Best and focusing on the basics. I thought how sometimes it's pretty much impossible to cut anything out, and had a wonderful insight.
The Lord can help you slow down and accomplish the things you need. Let Him help you find what is most important. Let Him help you focus. Your relationship with God is the most important "basic". He will help you with the rest. Taking a little time to ask Him to help you. You will accomplish more when you do this. Spend time alone with the Lord. Just like any other friend, you become closer when you get to know Him. Allow Him in and help Him be your friend. Alone time. Not only away from other people, but from your worries and other distractions. For a few minutes every day, talk to Him. Learn something from Him. INVITE Him in.
As I was thinking of all the stuff I have to do, I was going crazy. I think I had a legitimate ulcer. This added to pondering today's lesson is what brought this poem to my mind. Enjoy. :)
Lord, give me the strength to overcome
Help me fight my battles, as I cannot do it alone
Teach me how to simplify
To better focus and fully Live my Life
Guide me to the most valued things
Help me realize what knowledge your Love brings
This is impossible to face - on my own
But I know, with your help, I am not alone
Lord, give me the strength
I need you here
These steps stretch me further through each length
Teach me not to fear
I Love thee.
Stay with me.
Help me fight.
Show me, please, the Greater Light.
Oh, and thank you so much to all of you who help me out. Even a simple question like "How did that test go?" really lets me know you care. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.
Much Love,
Kiki
The Lord can help you slow down and accomplish the things you need. Let Him help you find what is most important. Let Him help you focus. Your relationship with God is the most important "basic". He will help you with the rest. Taking a little time to ask Him to help you. You will accomplish more when you do this. Spend time alone with the Lord. Just like any other friend, you become closer when you get to know Him. Allow Him in and help Him be your friend. Alone time. Not only away from other people, but from your worries and other distractions. For a few minutes every day, talk to Him. Learn something from Him. INVITE Him in.
As I was thinking of all the stuff I have to do, I was going crazy. I think I had a legitimate ulcer. This added to pondering today's lesson is what brought this poem to my mind. Enjoy. :)
Lord, give me the strength to overcome
Help me fight my battles, as I cannot do it alone
Teach me how to simplify
To better focus and fully Live my Life
Guide me to the most valued things
Help me realize what knowledge your Love brings
This is impossible to face - on my own
But I know, with your help, I am not alone
Lord, give me the strength
I need you here
These steps stretch me further through each length
Teach me not to fear
I Love thee.
Stay with me.
Help me fight.
Show me, please, the Greater Light.
Oh, and thank you so much to all of you who help me out. Even a simple question like "How did that test go?" really lets me know you care. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.
Much Love,
Kiki
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