So, it's been a while. Well, I post the poems I write, but I haven't written an actual post in a while. So, here I go.
I have learned SO much in the past few months. About myself, friends, family, and life in general. And because of the stuff I've learned, I'm a different person. Well, I'm still me. But I'm a more careful me. And I've become more aware of things in my life, especially about myself, that I need to work on. This is mostly due to my MARVELOUS adopted family, the Shelley's. They have helped me find ME so so much. How I look at life and the things in it is definitely different, but I am quite happy. Happy.. in a different way than I ever have been. I wouldn't say "more happy" necessarily, but happy on a greater level. I have been very very happy like this before, but this feels deeper and more real. Just like everything else in my life. Deeper. More real. Think about that. So many things in my life before the past six or seven months were very superficial. There were things like my passion for Marching Band, the Love I had for my friends (well actually sometimes that was a little shallow, too...)
Now that I think about it, none of the things in my life have never felt THIS REAL before. I have a new and greater appreciated for so many things. My testimony is stronger. I Love in a deeper way than I thought possible to Love. I'm not as scared of certain things anymore. I'm still unstable about some things, you know, I'm human. But I've become aware in ways that are a first step to fixing it. I feel so much more satisfied with life in general. My very good friend Gladiator brought this up a little while ago. And he's quite happy for me. I'm grateful he cares. More than I know how to say.
More than I know how to say. I've been saying and feeling that a lot lately. It's part of this 'deeper' concept. Things have become SO real and deep that I find it hard to describe just how much is involved. How much feeling, thought, reality, everything.
I've been extremely thoughtful today, as you can probably tell. When I write about fun things, well, I write.. well.. with a LOT of enthusiasm. Really. ^_^ When I write like this.. I'm thoughtful. Well I guess most of my posts here have leaned more toward the excited way. I think college is influencing my writing and thinking processes. haha. SPEAKING OF!
I finished a 32 page Essay Book for my Family Processes class today. :D It feels like SUCH an accomplishment! That class has helped me in so many ways. Well, in connection with all the other influences I've had it has. I can't help thinking all of this was supposed to happen at the same time. Along with getting closer to the Shelley's.. and the influences of college... I've gotten closer to my dad. This has also resulted in my having more insights about life, because he is a VERY wise person. I've also been discovering that many many of my tendencies are like his. I am more like my dad than I used to think, and it's a fun and exciting thing to discover. :) I Love my dad!
I know I do this a LOT. But there are a few people I'd like to thank for helping me through the past few months.
Yaker. My amazing boyfriend. He makes me feel like I'm in a dream. Or a romantic-comedy. There are so many times when he does things so perfectly and according to what I really like that I wonder if it's all real. He has made me happy on countless occasions and helped me get to know myself as I get to know him. He's one of the best guys that I've ever met, and I Love him more than I've ever Loved anyone else. Besides family.. maybe. Ok that's unfair, because the Love I feel for them is on a different level. I didn't think the level of Love I have for Yaker even existed. He brings me SO much Joy. :)
Gladiator. He has earned my absolute trust in so many ways. And helped me through so many tough times. I will forever be in debt to his friendship and kindness.
MommaS. She's so crazy and fun. She has helped me through quite a few tough times too. I am so so grateful I know her. I Love her so very much. :)
Cookanoove. Even though I only knew him for all of a month before he went on a mission, he helped me in my life too. And continues to with his letters from Florida.
Beekanoove. Iwubyoumoost! This girl is so much fun. She makes me laugh endlessly and accepts me for who I am despite all the very strange things I do. I Love her too.
MrDarcy. My amazing padre. The talks I've had with him recently have helped me so very much. And all the help he's given me with college? I'll always always always be ever so grateful for him. I Love you dad!
Soza. The small acts and words of kindness and reassurance he gives me are more help than he could ever know. This guy has helped me so much in the past three years. Thank you.
Poker. Despite our childish banter, we have tons and tons of fun. Not only that, he has helped me feel better on a few bad days.
Twin. As always. I Love my Soul Sister. FOR LIFE. :D
Sleepy (or J.B., whichever). Though we don't talk a whole lot, when we do I feel rejuvenated and happy. This guy is so sincere and caring, and it shows. I'm grateful for him as well.
Blunt Guitar Man. Advice Advice Advice! We have had quite a few long talks. He makes me feel important and sometimes says things that help me SO much I can't even describe.. :)
TheMuffin. We have had a few sister dates and they have been quite awesome, if I say so myself. I Love her.
Timon (D~). With his listening ear and reassuring words.
RFarm. She's so beautiful and fun and has helped me be happy more than once in the past little while. I Love her!
MooseP. Super fun. Spastic. Always brings out the silly me. I Love this girl SO very very much!
There are so many people who have helped me throughout.. life! But these are the ones who've made a rather strong impression on me as of late. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sincerely, Stripes
