Spin

A ribbon stressed too many times wont curl
But when pulled just right
Better hold on tight
Because here comes a new kind of twirl

Spin, spin, around and around
Though curls travel down again
Hope not to drown again
Huge win, picture the sound
Listen.
That spiral play
Amazed it could be this way
Once lost, now begins to be found

With too much warmth burn, and pain
Though with just enough spark,
One disintegrated heart
Set aflame

Spin, spin, around with a curl
Though curls travel down again
Please, don't let me drown again
I'm liking this new kind of twirl

Rush

Rush.
Shimmering
Transparent
Completely
Apparent

Meaning weaved inside
Some, the twisted waters meant to hide
Others meant to float around
Spread.
            ...end too loud a sound

Create a border, close over the shimmer
Make the transparent a little thinner
Quite now the rushing roar
So she may independent soar

Hush.

Thanks, Mom. :)

Odd Me

Time for another semi random post, as most of my posts are. :)
I don't know exactly, but this may be the last post you see here for a couple months. Why?
Oh..... here we go.
--ACT in less than a month. 600+ page book to read. Gotta stay on schedule with that.
--Guard three days a week. My days are booked until' around 6PM on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
--Oh, plus personal practice. Which is absolutely necessary.  I feel really bad when I don't.  Though I can't on most Wednesdays.
--SCHOLARSHIPS. Yes, I need to apply for those.  Make time, make time.
--Applying for COLLEGE. AH!! Not. Ready. Oh, and "Letters of Recommendation"?? Vat ees thees?
--AP Art History: Why am I taking such an overwhelming class on top of the rest of my life?  Because I want to learn about art. It's really really interesting and I like it a lot. However, this class happens to have a lot of work... it's all interesting (except the cutting and gluing of flashcards), just time consuming.
--IB Math SL. Again, WHY am I doing this to myself?  Because I'm insane.  SO glad I have Simons.  He rocks.  Oh, and I wouldn't be surviving that class without Dream and Silverlight.  And Jen, Smiley, and Ch~, sometimes.  But mostly Silverlight and Dream.  Thanks you two!  You keep me alive in there!
--CHOIR! (I'm in AWE. And Concert, but I'm not in the class for Concert.  I'm learning the music on my own time - which I have little of, but it's very very much worth it to me.)  Which I Love. That and Guard are my outlets in all of this craziness. I ADORE all choir people.  They help me VERY muchly much to survive as well.  Some of the ones on the top of the "Helping Kiki stay alive list" are:
Kenna (nickname to be determined..)
Silverlight
Dream
Scales
Gladiator
KGreen (need a better name for you too... but OH goodness I LOVE her!!)
ZachO
Twin (I would be dead without her. Seriously. I NEED this girl!)
LittleSis
Poker
Sleepy (I think you need a new name again.  I know I've changed it many times, but this one doesn't quite say YOU.)
Jendley (hahah! I just came up with that! I like it!)
Tueller (who I recently remembered I'm related to ;) Through Muffin)
Potatoes
um.. there are probably more. I Love them all. Oh, and these are only the ones in choir. Though that constitutes most of the list. :D

--AP English. So far the workload hasn't been too much.  I haven't had a whole lot of worry about this class. Maybe I will though.  Hopefully it wont get too bad, especially in the next two months.
--Physiology. Not TOO bad of a workload, but it's one of my more heavy classes
um.. I think that is all.  It's a lot.  And that is why this will be the last post for a while.  I'm surprised I have some free time today.  It's a blessing.

Throughout the list I just typed up, you may have noticed I seemed quite calm.  I can assure you that was not the case yesterday.  I've been super duper emotional lately, and yesterday EVERYthing I've been stressed about, sad about, mad about, or any other negative feeling about came CRASHING down on me.  I literally could not make myself be put together.  Even after I got a hold of myself, 20 seconds later I broke down again.  I'm apologizing now for those I've snapped at or will snap at throughout this whole thing.  Though I'll probably apologize again.  Thanks for putting up with me, I'm very very much in debt to all of you.

Ok. Next item of business..
Not really business.  Business isn't attached to emotion.  Which I always always am.  Very much so.  It's part of the whole human thing. :) But anyway, this next little part is so attached to emotion that it's pretty much ridiculous.  I was having some ridiculous thoughts on Friday, and wrote them in my journal.

So, I've been strangely sad. Kind of pathetically so... and something that happened on Saturday night.  It reminded me what makes people genuinely happy when they're bummed.

I tried to help someone else be happy.

I'm not going to say who here.. though they might have figured it out.  I'll just say this person has helped me SO many times and in so many ways that neither they or I can think of them all. 

And it made me feel a lot better.  Even though I didn't do anything extravagant.  Maybe it's something about knowing someone needs you that makes you feel better.. or something.  I don't know how to describe it, I just know it works. :)  I was feeling way super duper down, and I put aside my problems and tried to make them feel better.  Thanks a million. :)

Last night, I opened up my box and read those words that usually make me feel better.  Some of them.. actually made me feel worse.  And the rest of them neither hurt nor helped, really.  This. Is also very odd.  Hence the title of this post.


I know I say this a lot, but I just keep thinking about how I'd be SO much worse off if it weren't for those people I Love and cherish.  Most of them were mentioned in the choir list, but there are a few who aren't there who also have helped me more than I can even comprehend.

Mr. Smooth
Naomi
Mrs. F
Muffin
Mom
Padre
Shendley (Jendley's little sister. Love. Her.)
VedySmot
ESoza
Wes
MLE
Nattle (Nat. L... just in case you don't recognize your own nickname ;))
McAllen (I met him recently, so he's a new addition to the blog. He's one of Dream's friends and he makes me smile.)
Brother Little
And I like to remind you of the choir people, too.  They help me SO much.

You all are literally my happiness, sanity, and life savers.  I'm not trying to be queso here.
My heart is full of so much Love (on top of all the other emotions) that it may burst.  I. Love. You. SO MUCH!

--Kiki
AKA Odd Me. A very emotional girl right now.

Simple Romance

Alrighty. So this is way cheesy and.. almost sounds country-ish in my head. But I like it.

A knock on the door, a smile, an embrace
As simple as just that look on your face
I can't quite explain what you mean to me
You make me feel who I want to be

Complex? I'm above it
I find myself Lovin'
The little things

I'm a hopeless romantic
Sometimes  I'm frantic
My minds goin' out of control
I bloom at the simple things
The simple Joy they bring
You've got my heart in a whirl

Comfort and cheer me and make me laugh
You're strange plus silly, that's my Love math
A walk or a run in your minutes to spare
A last minute talk to show you'll always be there

A frown? Not for long
If anything's wrong
You help me smile

Knock. Smile. Embrace.
I can't quite explain.. Oh, that look on your face
Talk. Laugh. Insane.
Just the sound of your voice takes away pain
You're who I want to dance with in the rain

It's all the little things
You do that make me sing
You never cease to make me smile
I'm a hopeless romantic
Simple romance...
Take out the hopeless, and that's our style.

:)

Don't go askin' me who this is about, because Imma tell ya!  It's about all of my closest friends.  Thank you so much for being everything I need and more.  I Love you. :)

Yours always,
Kiki

Initiation

It was a hot and sunny day.  People from choirs all around PHS were gathered at the favorite local hang out, Macey's.  Two of the group (Dream and myself) got there another way than everyone else, and were oblivious to what was coming their way.  They joked, made funny faces, and were generally awkward with the rest of the group.  When it came time to head back to the school is when the truth came out.  The whole group was going to fit in one little vehicle.

SHOTGUN!... Oh goodness this is crazy!... I don't think anyone else can fit!  We can fit another person in the front!... There is no way this is happening... I don't think there's room... Nah, you can fit. Just get in on top of everyone in the back... We can't shut the door!... There's a leg in the way, who's is this?... Sorry, that's mine.  I'm trying... Here, let me get the door...

The whole posse strained and squished until finally we got the door shut and started the car.  And we wheeled right out of the parking lot and all the way to the school.  Alive.  Everyone afraid of getting in a crash or otherwise pulled over.  As soon as we got on campus, I *touched* the door handle and the door FLEW open.  We all fell out.
I Love us choir people.  (I can say US now.. hehe :D)  Love Love.  I'm super duper excited that I'm in choir this year :D
Ky~ told me a couple minutes later:
"Well, you're officially initiated now."
... Oh, so that's how they do it.
 My mom's response to this story was:
 "Every teen has to do that once in there life.. but please NEVER do that again!"

For Good

Life.
Life is magnificent.  Completely and totally magnificent. :D  I mean, it could get better, but it's really very good indeed.
"I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason.  Bringing something we must learn.  And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them.. and we help them in return."
I Love that song.  It's so true, too.  I feel like I really have been led to the people who will help me and care for me the most.  My friends are all so willing and ready to say the things that will make me feel accepted and important.  They are very much a part of the reason I'm so happy lately.  I.... want to send a shout out.  To Gladiator, Dream, and Twin.  They've taken time to just.. listen to me.  They'll hear what I have to say and give what advice they have.. or they'll just listen.  Sometimes that's all I need, is someone who really cares who I can talk to.  Thank you for being those people for me. :)
The other day, Dream came over to do just what I just mentioned.  Listen.  It was late and I didn't really expect him to be able to come over, but he did.  I had been having a really weird mood type day.. and he made it SO much better just by caring.  Thank you.  I will never ever forget that night. :)
Gladiator.  If I had to pick a phrase to describe him, it would be best friend.  He's one of the sweetest guys I know, and one of my most trusted confidants.  I know I'm not the only person who thinks he's great, either.  He's a really great listener and somehow always knows how to make me feel better. Well, almost always, because I've had some pretty stubborn moods.  He's put up with so much from me.. probably knows me the best out of all of my friends.. and not only STILL puts up with me after knowing it all.. but likes me more for it.  I couldn't ask for anyone better.  Thank you as well. :)
Twin.  Well.  I don't know quite what to say.  We've had many a heart to heart talk, her and I.  She knows of the things that make me smile, things that upset me, and most everything I've learned since I met her.  She's taught me a LOT about life and people.. and made me a better person.  I absolutely ADORE this girl and Love spending time with her.
I could probably say something about each and every one of my friends.. but just know I appreciate all of you.  I'm sure I'll say some sort of thank you to you sometime in the future if I haven't already.  You make my life complete.  You really do, I wouldn't be the same me without all of my fabulous, crazy, nerdy, awkward, smiley, loud, insane bunch of hoolagins.  ;)
I Love you all. Thank you so so much :D
Kiki

Echoed Stars

You told me I was a Princess
And not to settle for any other name
Any time you were there, you'd insist
Your respect and care was far from a game

I cried one night and wished for you
As soon as possible, you came through
Any hour, no matter how close the day's end
You were willing to be there. Truly a friend.

I remember your words of stars
How we'd catch them, they'd be ours
What the stars are, I now begin to realize
Seen now through new and different eyes

Some shine on my ceiling, some in a box
It was only recently I let them out of their locks
You kept your promise. Each star a glowing, happy memory
Each bright light seems to echo: "Remember me."

Granting their call, to their light I began to stare
Then dared to think you probably still care.
At least enough to turn a smile my way
I hope that care decides to stay.

Filled

A flutter of emotions enters into my heart
When wanting to express them, I think: Oh, but where to start?
I cannot always figure out if it's good or bad to reminisce
Is it happiness or sadness I feel when I read of that bliss?
Does anything I hold dear last?
Will everything repeat the words "It's only in the past" ?

I then remember that glance of genuine care and worry
Those words that tell me you will hurry
To stay up late and listen
To advise and console
And all those things I'm truly missin'
Feel like less of a black hole.

Leather Band

I open the door to those familiar eyes
The way they're fixed takes me by surprise
Before the door is pushed closed behind
More surprise and wonder I find
A warm and comforting circle surrounds
"I guess he missed me." are the words my mind found

Is it possible, even now, Still Aflame?
I'm careful to believe, tired of my heart's game
But everything is falling slowly back in to place
And I can't seem to keep my mind off of that face
That same look I remember, that outstretched hand
All of those thoughts and memories.. sealed in that leather band

Now my heart sings a song
That it knew all along
Is the tune a bit wrong?

... No matter, I'm out of that shell
Things are going quite well
I'm happy as ever - as anyone can tell.

Psychedelic!

I found that my mom has some old hippie style sunglasses... that plus a camera equals Kiki really can't resist taking pictures :D

Choir(?)

I have decided that speaking in a rediculous english accent makes things much more fun!  Especially if, along with previously mentioned accent, you use and excess of words.  Preferably intelligent sounding ones, but that's not always the case. 

A few weeks ago there was this spark of a thought in me that I should join choir.  Every other time I had thought about it all year, I thought: No, I don't have enough time.. or money.. or my brain came up with another excuse.  And I didn't feel like it, I really just didn't want to.  Then randomly and all of the sudden I wanted to.  Quite badly actually. 
So I emailed the choir teacher and told her I'd get with my counselor and tell her which choir classes my schedule would allow me to take.  That appointment with my counselor will be on Monday.  I'm kinda anxious to see how it goes.. because I really do want to be in the choir program again.  I did it my freshman year, and Loved it.  I had reasons for stopping rather than auditioning.. but now I've changed my mind. 
I had another thought but I forgotted it. OH! Forgotted. That reminds me of Scales.  Who I've finally been talking to and hanging out with again.  I just gotta say, I've missed that girly. A LOT!  I pretty much always have super duper fun times with her.That's all for now folks.  See you next time on
Kiki's Incredibly Random Posts!
da da da duuuuum! :D
-- Love,
Kiki.

Maui!

I've now realized I didn't ever blog ANYTHING about Hawaii.  Bad Kiki. No cookie.
SO!! This post is about Hawaii! :D (I'll probably be copying out of my journal for a lot of it.. edited, of course.)

Thursday, July 15 2010.  Reno, Nev. to Sunnyvale, CA.
Day of the Dog Lufa
This morning we were in Reno [not Rino] at Steve's house.  We started traveling just after 10 AM and arrived in Sunnyvale (close to San Jose) around 3:30 PM.  I got all sicky in the car.  We think it was sour milk... whatever it was, it wasn't fun.  We arrived and were attacked by Sheila and her boys.  Grandma came out too, but she doesn't attack.  TallTanGeek [I know, uber creative nickname.. I'll think of a better one when I feel like it] isn't here, he's working... at a big state scout camp or something.  I MISS HIM!  It's enough to almost make me cry.  I LOVE my geeky cousin. :)  He'll be here when we get back from Hawaii :)
We went to the park with Ben, MasterMind, Sam, and OBaby.  They were playing Lava Tag (or something of a similar title) and.. a 'new friend' joined in.  Definitely a very.. friendly.. friend.  We didn't stay long.
We then went to Sweet Tomatoes.  YUM!  I ate too much.. but not as much too much as I usually do there.  And of that I was proud.

Friday, July 16, 2010. Maui, HI.
The Day of Warm Ocean
 We are IN Hawaii!  In an island called Maui.  It takes all day to drive around it, but we're only going to go that far when we go to the other side of it to the black sand beach.  It's black because of lava rocks :D  Anyway I'm SUPER excited!  Sometime, The Muffin is going to take my senior pics outside in the beautiful flowery/ pooly area.  Yay!  And the ocean is WARM!  I heart it!  I want to spend a LOT of time on the beach.  We went to a fish restaurant today.  The Sands of Kahuna [spelling may be incorrect] and I had swordfish!  It was tasty.  And I discovered that I like shrimp (after years of not liking it at all).  I wouldn't try mushrooms though. No, no.  I already get easily queezy these past couple days.  P.S. I need more sleep.
Oh, P.S. again.  I wrote a postcard to my friends, I just have yet to send it off because I need to look up the address and get a postage stamp.
Another P.S.  Plantation.  Tour. Learned a bit about different foiloage here.  Coconuts actually have coconut water, not milk.  If it's white [instead of clear] it will give you diarrhea.. eeew..

Saturday, July 17, 2010.  Maui, HI.
The Day of Water in My Air.
...and cute boy :D
Today we went to a boring orientation at the hotel... but they had pineapple and fruit drink and donuts.  After that we went to the beach!  Yay!  I Love the water here!  So warm and stuff.  And the sand isn't all ouch to your feet like it is in Oregon... After beachness... oh wait, go back.  While we were enjoying the ocean, we got salt water in our eyes and mouths... "Salt water on YOU, salt water on ya FAMILY, salt water on ya COW!..." hahaha :D
Then we went shopping.  I bought a sarong (which ripped D: exchanging it tomorrow) a shark tooth necklace, a plumeria ( a flower that's like a frangipani only I learned frangipani's are Tahitian, not Hawaiin) bracelet, and we got shell necklaces free when we walked in with a friendly Aloha.  I Love Hawaii. :)  At random stores around where we ate I got an Abalone necklace (very pretty) and two aqua marine shells to put on necklaces for Twin and I (at the Lahaina Scrimshaw - carving of ivory ~ bone of elephant, mammoth, walrus and such) the shells screamed Claire. :D  I also got pineapple keychains for friends and a surfboard keychain for LittleSis at the ABC store.  While shopping downtown Lahaina, we passed a fiddle player.  We gave him our spare change.  He made his fingerboard out of abalone! So beautiful!  He also let mom play his fiddle!!  The fiddle had a place for 5 strings.  there were 4 on it.  We saw a painter, too.  He asked if we were from 'parkasity' ... huh?  OH, Park City... haha. He painted very well.  Another incident down Front Street... :) ... as we were walking we hear someone say "Aloha" and my grandma says "Aloha" back.  I turned to see who it was and.. well refer to the subtitle of today :D  Yes, he was really cute.  Muffin agreed. :)  She "took a picture of me" [but was really trying to take a picture of him] but we were too far away by then to get a good one and then he walked away.  Sad day :(  It was a puppy pout moment.  Muffin then resolved to take pictures with every cute guy she saw there.


Monday, July 19, 2010. Maui, HI.
The Day of Happy Milk.
Why?  Mostly because MasterMind waster feeling good and she thought RiceDream would help.  that, water, and deep breathing DID help.  But Mind said it's her happy milk.  Also!  We had fresh coconut water (which people think is milk.. but if it's not clean it will actually make you sicky.  Although!  The meat in the coconut can be made into a milk.  And THAT isn't the sicky stuff :))  It was good!  We also went to the beach. Again. :D  And... lunch at the plantation.  But we all agreed it wasn't very good.  Grandma said it used to be much better.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010. Maui, HI.
Picture Day.
Senior pics.. were like any photoshoot, really.  Some shots I liked a LOT and some.. not so much.  but it was good :)  Later, we made leis and had a pro photoshoot here at the resort!  It took a laaarge chunk out of our beach time, which The Muffin was really unhappy about.. but I liked it.  We even bought the photos.  Well, grandma did.  Thanks grandma :)  We got the CD too, so I'll be posting later.. some in my senior pics album because we took some individuals.  :)
Later we went to K... something beach.  It was kinda rocky but cool  Muffin and Mind swam with turtles! Awesome!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010.  Maui, HI.
Snorkel day! 
Now I've swam with turtles too!  :D  I got really tired and sore though.. we went to another K... something beach.  It's been my favorite so far.  Sand - not rock - even in deeper water.  Soft on the feet :D  That night was.. some preteen drama.  Oh MasterMind...

Thursday, July 22, 2010. Maui, HI.
Trip to Hana!
We went to the black sand beach!  It was cool!  We also went to Ohaio [spelled wrong I know it..] Gulch.  Otherwise known as the seven sacred pools.  COLD and windy.. but so so beautiful and fun to climb!  The road to Hana is a hard one.  Narrow, up the mountain, windy, makes you very carsick, scary, people needing to pass on a one and a half car size road.. it was quite the adventure. :)


Saturday, July 24, 2010.  Sunnyvale, CA.
The Day of the Opera Truck
So we have now come back to California!  It was sad to leave HI... but I'm going to be glad to be home.  AND while we're still in CA for a day I get to see TallTanGeek!  [That name keeps making me laugh.. maybe I'll keep it after all :D]
We attacked TTG as soon as he was in the garage :D  We talked for a bit and got on the subject of Toy Story 3.  TTG had seen it, but Muffin and Kiki had not!  So....
"I have a truck!"
"I have money!"
"I have money too!"
And we were off :D  I absolutely adore last minute adventures! :D
On the way there Phantom of the Opera music came on TTG's Mp3 and Muffin and I sang with it.  We had the windows down and TTG told us later people were looking at us really funny.  :D
This reminded me of an earlier incident that I don't think I've written about yet... We were coming back from shopping or something and we drove through a smallish parking lot.  I see this guy (a couple of guys, actually) and I don't really look at him [note to self, smile at all cute guys while on vacation.  (or anywhere..) Especially if you know he's looking at you. Eedoy.  Now if I could actually have the unshyness to make myself start doing that, that would be an accomplishment.] but anyway the next I really see of him he's bumped into his friend (who was right in front of him...) Muffin then laughs and says
"That guy was was totally checking Kiki out, didn't pay attention, and ran into his friend."
my mom added
"That's what it looked like to me, too."
It was all rather flattering and thinking back on it I do kinda remember him looking like he was looking at me.  Woah run on sentence. :P  So he could have been looking at me.  Now you understand my note to self from earlier.. :)
Hang on. Wrist stretch.  Ow.  Don't wanna get carpel tunnel.. or however you spell it..
Anyway, back to Toy Story 3.  SO GOOD!  It made me cry.. but I'm such a BABY lately that that's not much of a surprise.  It was all so cleverly made and the dialogue was bery bery goot. :)  Great job Disney Pixar!
I'm going to miss TTG.  A LOT!  I don't know when I'll next see him.. probably years from now!  He's moving!  And going on his mission probably soonish.  I Love this guy :)
I miss my friends at home!  I can't wait to see them!!
That's the end :D There's your HI and Cali update.  I Love you all!
--Kiki

Petals Forget

I wrote this a while ago, and put dried up rose petals that looked like tears on it. Here ya go.

Those who quickly fall in
Just as easily fall out
The head of my rose droops down
The petals fall, forget them all
Forget
Them
All

These petals
are as tears

There are those who take the petals...
Press them
Try to save them.
Should I try too?
Or when they fall
Forget
           Them
                     All?

Forget each fall?            

Stomach Bone Stew

or Pig Limb Stew
My mom told me to help make dinner. Ok. What do I need to do? Well, you chop up some of the usual stuff [carrots, celery, onions] and then put the ham bone in. I did a double take - wait what?  Ham bone. Seriously? She showed it to me.. yup.  A ham bone.  So later after the beans have soaked for two hours - yeah, this soup is weird - I chop up the stuff (well, The Muffin does as I got sharp pains in my wrist every time I tried to chop.. THAT'S from my rifle, but I Love Colorguard anyway.  Plus I'll have super strong wrists!) and take the ham bone out of the bag.  Yummy! :P I held it over the pot and told The Muffin to look over.. 'ew.'  So as I stirred the stew and ham bone, I commented
"This bone looks like a limb... because it is!"
That cracked The Muffin up a whole lot, as most of you can see by how she put it as her status.  Then, my mind already in rediculous mode or something, I said
"At first I thought it was like, a stomach bone, but no, it's a leg or something."
THAT really got to Muffin as well.  STOMACH bone?! BAHAHAHA!  Hey, I meant rib okay??  It's kinda close...

And thus the beginnings of the Stomach Bone Stew!  Doesn't it look so good?
Yeah, not really, I hope it'll taste differently than it looks... :)

Three Rings

[[I decided to find a couple of pictures to better illustrate. Sorry for the bad quality of figure 2:)]]

This is the tale of a cloud and three rings
These seem like they'd be three entwined things
You'd think they would all be connected, like so: [[see figure one]]
but the resistance from 1 to 3 may only grow

So when these rings seem stuck like this: [[see figure two]]- can you fiddle?
...Imagine the delicate balance for the one in the middle
Ring 2, linked with both, and 2 & 3 find
That maybe ring 1 is differently twined

Now ring 2 is forced to split it's design
A certain way for ring 3, for ring 1 another twine
Sometimes it seems 2's twine mirrors 1 - like one may expect
And when this happens, ring 3 can't connect

So down ring 3 drops, to a cloud who softens the fall
3 is only slightly damaged, and back up begins to call
Then a notion comes in a small, painful burst
"Maybe ring 1 will always come first"

But after the jolt, ring 2 is soon to follow
To reconnect with ring 3, who feels hollow
It now becomes clear: ring 1 liked the change
So up it pulls, keeping 3 out of range

At the sight of ring 2, 3 had started to jump
Only now, too far away, lands with a thump
But it's not too bad, as it soon figures out
The cloud is there to help stop the pout

Thankful for the comfort and lift, 3 then ascends
Now in sight of ring 2, and they make amends
Still, 1 wants to lead, and when 3 comes to click
1 pushes on with a defiant kick

Hoping this unit won't much longer estrange
Rings 2 and 3 work for a change
3 has a piece of the cloud, tied on for a constant reminder
That something's on her side, should doubt again find her

Atlanta!

Oh goodness there is a lot to write.  I apologize for this post being SO long!  Just think of it as six posts shoved in to one, because that's just what it is.  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and today.  Here we go!
I just gotta say - I Love my cousins! Quentin, Ciena and Guenith are SO cute!  Quentin is quite the performer, and almost always has something funny to say.  What makes it even better is that sometimes he puts on that he's not trying to be funny - which, in reality, he is.  Once, after
I laughed at something he said, he demanded:
"You think I'm bein' FUNNY?"
"Yep."
"WELL I AM!" It was hillarous.  I think Quentin is um... six or seven now..? Maybe. I could ask but I'm too lazy.
Georgia has been super duper awesome!  An adventure every day.  No such thing as bored while I've been here :)
Monday - Renaissance Festival!  They had a whole big wood village and everything!  It was so cool!  People dressed up, too.  Some of that was.. scarey.  Some people were wearing way too many layers and corsets and such for this hot, humid, southern weather.. and some.. well, weren't wearing enough.  Yuck :P  My aunt observed that going to these things makes her feel better about her shape, because some people really shouldn't wear midriff (I know I spelled that wrong..) showing clothing. -shudder- One thing that I'll never forget about going to the Renaissance Festival is meeting the queen.  A few minutes after we walked in, this member of the royal guard or something came up to Ciena and gave her a coin.  He asked her to give it to the queen when she saw her, and tell her it was for shopping.  Well, a little while into our travels of the town, we found the royal pavillion.  (Of course it was the most shaded area of the whole establishment.  It was *Almost* cool [temperature wise]. Almost.)  After the queen wqas done talking to some other royal subjects, Ciena went up to her, all shy like she does, held out the coin and very quietly said "This is for shopping." The queen got a huge smile on her face and yelled "Shopping! Shopping!"  If I didn't know she was acting I'd be a little concerned.. all of the queen's ladies in waiting came around, very excited.  Ciena was startled by the flurry of bright colored skirts and turned around to hide in mommy's arms.  The queen said she must give this beautiful little girl a gift for giving her shopping money.  (Bronwen and I were confused, shouldn't the queen get enough shopping money already?  I guess not in this town. But it was still pretty cool :))  The queen gave Ciena a little plastic pink ring.  Ciena was overjoyed.  She wore it the rest of the day. And the next, and the next.   And who can blame her?  Wouldn't you be excited if you got jewelery from the Queen herself? :)  There was also a joust, acrobats, flexible daredevils, fire jugglers, glass blowing, and much much  more.  Also, as you can expect in the south, there was tons of fried food.  Fried pickles, fried chicken, even fried mac and cheese on a stick!  Ew. (Most of the stuff at the festival was 'on a stick'... as if that made it any more awesome...? Haha I guess it does. Go sticks! :P) Later, Ciena and Quentin both got wooden swords.  They would later decorate them with jewels and gold ribbon.  It was a fun experience :)
Tuesday: Six flags!  Roller coasters, roller coasters, and more roller coasters!  It was so much fun!  I'll tell you about the most exciting ones.  My favorite was: Superman, Ultimate Flight.  This wasn't just any old fast roller coaster with large hills and loops. No no, it was a fast roller coaster that you rode HORIZONTAL with high hills and loops and stuff.  And even my favorite aspect of new roller coasters, which I call the "DNA twist" because it looks like a piece of DNA.  At the start of the ride, you're vertical.  Then they lower the little platform under you and switch the seats so you're in a position to fly like Superman!  It's really awesome :)
Another strange but thrilling experience was that Scorcher.  A standing up roller coaster.  That's right, you stand up.  You're still perfectly locked in, but the weight shifting is quite different, especially on loops.  My legs were all tingly afterwords.  We also went on there tallest ride, Goliath.  Fairly named, I think.  No loops or quick turns, just a lot of really really REALLY tall hills.  It was awesome :) And guess what?! After that we got pictures with Bugs and Daffy! :D Daffy is my favorite Loony Tunes character!  We almost missed them, but then I saw Bugs' long ears over the fence they just went through behind the picture taking area.  I yelled, there they are!  Daffy then opened the gate, saw us, hid behind the gate, popped back out and came over to greet us.  It was pretty great :) I got a squished penny of the Superman coaster. :)
Wednesday: World of Coke!  Old commercials about coke, info about the making of coke, a little reading about the guy who came up with coke, learning that most of the soda's and fruit drinks I know about are owned by coke, and a tasting room, full of unlimited coke products.  In other words, a lot of coke.  And sugar :)  The best part is, we all got to take a little bottle of coke home with us :) I like coke, but it always reminds me of being sick because my mom and dad would always get it for me when I was little when my tummy was upset.  The syrup helps it or something.  We later learned it's just the sugar that helps.  All in all, too much soda for me that day, after being used to not drinking any maybe more than once a month.  Woof.  I hope Tiave isn't reading this.. haha.. but he'd probably understand.  I mean, WORLD of Coke?! Seriously, how can you not drink soda on World of Coke day? :)
Thursday: The famous and fabulous Georgia Aquarium!  It's the largest in the world!  More than like 8 million gallons of water or something.  Das a lot a aqua. :P  It was majorly awesome!! Tank tunnels, otters, whale sharks, scary fish, cute fish... etc.  There were SO many different kinds of sea creatures!  My favorite there was the Balooga.  Yes, Balooga.  It's a real animal.  It's a mammal, too!  It's a kind of whale.  It's white, big, and simply beautiful.  I have a little plush toy of one :) I think this is also the day we went to Ariel's soccer game.  And her team won, of course :) Go Atlanta! haha :)  And Ariel really does look very young and beautiful.  You wouldn't think she had three little ones and had been married for ten years :)  That night I got online and chatted with some friends.  I miss you all so much!  I can't wait to be home! 
Friday: Was a pretty relaxed day.  We went to this barbeque place where I discovered, again, that I like pork better than stake.. BUT they had these really really good cheese roll things.  Yum yum yum!  We also went swimming, in the rain!  Ok so it only rained for a little bit but it was still cool!  The water was all spotty and awesome :) Later that day we watched Gone With The Wind.  Good, but LONG.  And I will never be like Scarlet Oherra. :P  The only characters I actually liked in that film were Melony, Mammy, and sometimes Rhett. Sometimes.
Today: Also a pretty relaxed day.  We went to the pool, but I didn't feel like swimming. I was the target thrower and ref for the game TheMuffin and FunagendaE were playing.  And.... I got a sunburn.  On my legs!  That never happens! My legs never burn!  But I was sitting on the edge of the pool, exsposing them to the hot georgia sun... They hurt a bit, but it's still kinda awesome.  Haha first sunburn of the season! :D
COMING  HOME TODAY! Late, but I'm coming!  Being away made me realize even more how much I Love home!  I miss everyone! I miss guard, my friends, and good ol' dry Utah.  I'm excited to be back!
Thanks for reading through this SixDaySmashedTogetherPost.  See you soon :)
--Kiki

Thank You's

Basically, life is great :)  I'm not saying there aren't bumps in the road, but overall it's been quite enjoyable :) I Love my friends!!  I'd like to give a thank you to:
ChuddaChudda, who makes my day, everyday.  There are so many things I could say here, but I'll just sum it up by saying he's my everything. :) He always knows how to make me smile and helps me be happy - even when he doesn't know he's doing it. I Love you :)
MomWebb, who is my inspiration and my hero.  I Love her more than I can say.  She always knows how to make things right when everything is falling apart, and she's one of my best friends :)
Michilli! [sorry if I spelled that wrong] My gorgeous little sister, I'm so glad we have become such great buds :D
Twin, who lights up my world ;)
LittleSis, who is always eager to Love.  And gives some of the best hugs ever!
Gladiator, who laughs with me [not at me] when I'm being a dork, and smiles at my randomness.
Tiave, who makes me smile.. despite how ridiculous he is to deal with, sometimes.  Love ya :)
SilverLight, Eli~.  I just came up with this, because she has like water-blue-silver eyes, and she.... just glows.  She always says hi to me when she see's me, and smiles.  She has a way of making you feel wanted just when you really need it.
KyDancer, who gives me reasons to laugh all the time.  I'm much better off because of her bright pretty face :)
Wall, who also makes me laugh.  Everything about this amazing gal puts a smile on my face :)
Katie J., just adorable in every way!  She really hasn't changed since we were six.  Her smile is SO contagious.
ZANK! Because he always knows just when to be a dork, when I really need to smile. Hey hey hey ;)
Soza, who is courteous.  He always says thank you, even for the small things, and always says hi to me.
Poker, who is good at making me smile.. most of the time :)
Jareth! Isn't that one of the coolest names you've ever heard?? He's an upcoming freshman, and has decided to join the lovelyness of guard!  I've only known him two days, but so far he's made me smile :)
Sketch.. Wow.  She attacks me everytime I see her, and makes me feel SO Loved. 
Scales. Always excited to see me. :)
Dream, who I can trust, and can trust me. Great listener :)
There are probably many more people who do little things to make me smile, but these are the ones I remember the most right now.  Thank you all so much!  You are the ones who make my life happy :)

The Four B's

I meant to blog about this a while ago.. but I forgot. Silly Kiki :)

These are my notes from Church on Sunday, April 11, 2010.
Sis. Bingham: (Spoke in Sacrament Meeting) "Every member a missionary." We are called.  "Surely someone will take care of that need."  Act.  That someone is you.  Missionary work in it's purest form is a genuine inward desire to share the Gospel.  Be an example of someone who is sensitive to the Spirit.  Do what you're told to do.  Hold your heads up, work with diligence, do what the church tells you to do.  "In may cases, member missionary work is the only missionary work we can do" ♫ Let the lower lights be burning... some poor fainting, struggling sea-man you may rescue, you may save ♫
Bro. Bingham: (Also in Sacrament Meeting) Missionary work has a thousand names and a thousand faces.  Heavenly Father very much is involved in this work.  Yours is the privilege to be not spectators, but participate in that work.  "Youth of the church, the world is in need of your help." [Pres. Monson]
*********and hear is what I was thinking about, that I felt like I should write down:
This Gospel is not a set of rules.  It's not a list of do's and don't's for everyone in it.  It is the only church that has the authority to use God's power and as such the leaders of it give us advice straight from Him.  How lucky we are to have this!  So, no matter how large or small our church is.. doesn't matter.  What matters is that it's the only way to have the constant companionship and guidance of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  Those 'rules' aren't mere do's and don't's, they are strong advice from God to help us live happy lives.  This is the only Gospel that has the fullness of that advice. How grateful I am to be a part of that.
*********
And now the join lesson in Young Women that same day
Bro. Barry: Resist the devil.  Let your light shine.  If it's darkness you feel, don't say what you're thinking.  don't gossip.  "Talk good" about others.  Talk about the good that's happening to you.  Don't be afraid to talk about the Gospel.  Tender mercies happen to you everyday, share them.  He will help you all along the way.
Sis. Barry: We litterally were called on this mission when we sustained Christ in the pre-existance.  You are on a mission NOW.  You've been given the gift of this Gospel.  People depend on us to share it.  You learn this Gospel from when you are two.  You are on your mission now. So,

How are you doing?

Don't have an un-honorable mission.  You can have an honorable mission.  You can do it.  If we don't, who on earth will?  

Become PROFOUND Theologians 

Who?  Mothers, missionaries, members of the church.  You can't teach well what you do not know.  Know the scriptures.  Come to church.  Go to seminary.  Go to mutual.  Pray.  Ask (parents, friends, etc.)  Discuss.  Listen.  Read Church magazines.  General Conference.  FHE.  Temple.

Have you been doing this?

Yes!  You are having this MTC experience.  Do you know enough? I bet you DO.  You know these answers.  You know enough to start TODAY.  By your example.  It's your calling.  You are on a mission.  Knowledge starting flowing in when you have this FIRM foundation.  Study the scriptures.  That is where the basis of this whole Gospel is.  Daily: ponder them, pray about them, study them.  They will lead you to Christ and give you instruction.  It works.  Share what you learn in seminary.

Themes of the Barry's talks: No gossip.  Share tender mercies.  Knowledge.  Learn answers.

As you can see, I took quite a bit of notes on the 11th.  I Loved it, so much.  I just had to write down all the good stuff that was flowing out of those people's mouths.  I knew I had to, these people are always inspirational.  And I'm very, very glad I did.  Just reading over them again brings back the feeling I had that day.  Thank you SO much, B's. :)

Artisan

I'm amazed at the work of the artisan
I watch as his hands create perfection and beauty
He draws this image with Love's pen
Then he turns and says to me:
Take it in

It shines brighter than any star
It is everything near and far
It is where you want to be
Just as perfect as any can see
It's amazing, and don't forget
He's not even finished yet

He continues creating this image so fine
I know it will never leave my mind
Then this artisans eyes lock into my view
As he softly says: My dear, This is you.

Your smile shines brighter than any star
You are everything to me, near or far
You are where I want to be
You are just as perfect as any can see
I think 'How can this artwork possibly be me?'
And I wont forget...
He's not even finished yet

This is how He sees me, and how you do too
So my angel here in this life, is you.

Dance My Way

She walks around a frozen pond in a soft white gown
Feels the music start
Pulls out a white ribbon and begins to dance around
To the flow of her heart

He enters the scene, slow and discreetly
Hears the music play
Stands there so quiet, smiling at her sweetly
As if to say:

Dance my way, don't be shy!
Because I'm here to stay and Love wont pass us by
I see you there across the silver ice
If you'd move your path here, well that would be nice
Dance my way

She sees him and to him she runs and she twirls
Radiant and bright
Her ribbon around her makes shinning white curls
Flowing so light

Then let go the ribbon - carried away by the breeze
How she dances: As if it were planned
He opens his arms as if asking her: Please
His words are a request, she knows he wont demand

Dance my way, don't be shy!
Because I'm here to stay and Love wont pass us by
I see you there across the silver ice
If you'd move your path here, well that would be nice
Dance my way

To his open arms she turns right in
He embraces her and slowly together they spin
A soft white mist around them settles in
While behind it their duet begins

Then I open my eyes and again see everything
As I hear the last of those inspiring chords ring

Lying Rain

After a few, my heart feels the scare
Find it hard to believe "For you I'll always be there"
I discover more about true care
Also, the things they say only for flare

Is it wrong to so easily believe?
Does it make one unsafely naive?
Would he ever think to deceive?
Are my strings of comfort in a false weave?

Is it bad I'd so easily trust
Each kind word or promise.. must
Have some truth. Or are they only thrust
out? Shattered lies blown away with the dust

Drip.
Drip.
Is it raining lies?
Drip.
Drip.
Can I read those eyes?

I've been told it is safe to doubt a little more
Not sponge in those words but lock them out the door
But still, in I let them pour
Do I listen... or let them hit the floor?

Drip.
Drip.
Is it raining lies?
Drip.
Drip.
Can I read those eyes?

My heart feels the scare
"For you I'll always be there"
"I'd change everything"
"Dear, I truly care"
"I'm here for you, I'll be anything."

If I trust all this now
Will I later feel pain?
I just don't see how
This could be lying rain

Drip.
Drip.
Is it raining lies?
Drip.

Drip...

Can I read

Those

Eyes?

Royal Birth

I didn't write this, it was given to me by a young women leader. But I really really like it. It's made me cry. :)

I am a child or royal birth.
My father is King of Heaven and Earth.
My spirit was born in the courts on high,
A child beloved, a princess am I.

I was nurtured there,
I lived by His side
In a home where patience and Love abide.
My Mother was there in that glorious place,
Blessing her children with queenly grace.

I grew to the stature that spirits grow,
I gained the knowledge I needed to know.
I was taught the truth and I knew the plan
That God and Christ laid out for man.

I was there when the starts of morning sang.
I mingled my voice when the heavens rang.
I was there to rejoice, to praise and applaud
The shouts of joy from the sons of God.

I waited my turn and I came to earth
Through the wonderful channel of human birth.
The curtains were closed and the past was gone.
On the future, too, the curtains were drawn.

I live on this earth and God willed it so;
With freedom to choose the way I should go.
I must search for the truth,
I must serve and obey -
I must walk by my faith or fall by the way.

Someday I'll go back
I will answer the call.
I'll return with my record to the Father of all.
The Heavens will open and so will my heart,
There will be great rejoicing if I've done my part.

My Father, the King, in His infinite Love
Will welcome me back to the mansions above
The curtain will part, and eternity
In it's light and glory, will open to me.

Love Love Love Love Love

Why did I capatalize all of those?  Because.  I think it's much better to capatalize that word.  Love.  It's a very important word, and has an even more important meaning.  P.S. that was Indescribable's doing. Here's a shoutout for him. Thank you! :)
Love.  Yes.  There are a lot of things Kiki loves.  They're all on that happy list, and right now, I'm going to talk about Guard.  Because it's amazing.
Guard yesterday was super duper duper FUN!  We changed some of the stuff in the show, just simple changes mostly, but it makes it so much more... involved!  It's awesomely fun!  Other people were happy with it too.  Rocky started doing victory dances.  Pretty soon, Sleepy joined him.. and then of course who couldn't resist?  ME that's who!  So there were three of us crazy guard member running around in circles with our flags raised over our heads.  Oh. My. Goodness. I laughed so much yesterday I thought my sides would BUST!!  I love Love LOOVE it when that happens!! 
Flags.  So Twin and Jess discovered yesterday that I messed up on putting the flags on the poles.. some of them are upside down.  Oopsie!!  We'll be changing THAT at practice tomorrow.  The reason we have practice tomorrow instead of Thursday is we're performing at the freshmen orientation assembly on Thursday. YES!! That's going to be FUN!  And people will love it so much they'll want to join :)  Of course.  But only the cool ones. :)
Anywhoosen.  I'm learning new things all the time.  Not just interesting fact type things, but life helping type things.  It's pretty awesome.  Sometimes the learning them part isn't the easiest.. but who said it would be easy? (No, He only said it would be worth it.  Love that quote.)
Love.  I have a lot of that.  It's so much I'm pretty sure it's spilling out of me.  And probably getting in to other people.  Hey wait a minute, it's getting in to others!! YAY share the Love. :D
MUSIC!! is another thing I Love.  Why?  Because. It's awesome.  And it's way cute when someone describes how they feel to you through a song...... usually that makes you like the song even more.  Yup yup!

Kiki's Happy List

These are the things and people that make me happy :)
*Gladiator
*Mr. Smooth
*The Boy Of My Dreams
*Button (previously known as Potatoes)
*ChuddaChudda (previously known as Sync)
*The Poker
*CTR (Le~, this is her favorite thing to say, so I deem this nickname appropriate :])
*Soza
*Blunt Guitar Man
*Fire! [and I mean the person, not the flaming hot stuff. Though that does go well with smores and hot dogs :)]
*Kam
*Kri~
*Abi
*Sleepy
*PBFace
*Twin
*Wes
*Bleyle
*Kyla
*K.J.
*Tuck
*Wall (Chels)
*Curtains (haha, no I wont ever let that go :))
*Serina
*Alec
*Little Sis
*Tiki! (previously known as The Muffin)
*Madre
*Padre
* Lestat
*Hodges
*Lemons
*Matt (the tall one)
*___________ (the one I can't even begin to describe. Gr~)
*Daun
*Chatwin
*Scales
*Zank
*Steakman
*laughter
*smiles
*eyes!
*hugs
*cuddling
*nicknames (ones for me, and the ones for others too :))
*Interesting conversations
*cheese
*fruit
*compliments
*talking
*the gospel
*LOVE!
*testimonies
*family
*dates
*parties
*inside jokes
*writing
*singing
*signing
*dancing
*GUARD!
*adoration
*twitterpation
*blogging
*cookies
*prayer
*(some) cake
*ice cream
*feeling pretty
*soft hair (mine and other people's too :))
*friends that are more like family <3
*colors
*poems
*sincerity
*funny faces
*sleep
*nailpolish
*DOGS
*make-up :)
*PJs
*blankets
*the beach
*life :)

Phase (The second part to Secret Keeper)

Those silver eyes stare me right in the face
Will she ever tell?  Make me, of my own feelings, ace?
How long will I be stuck in this place?
Sometimes a longing... an empty space

In her eyes I gaze
Searching into them for a light in the haze
Then these bright silver stones begin to glaze
In to other jewels they phase

Large circles of ocre with outer rings of gold
Though they say much, never a complete story told
I wish to see, to decipher more, but my eyes wont hold
A silver flash, and those warm circles go cold

Dark chocolate depth next draws me in
So sincere and kind, they make my heart spin
My adoration constantly win
Then their shine, with another vivid flash, grows thin

Windows of ocean in dashes of green
A jewel quite like this, I have never before seen
Their glow draws me in, too. What could all of this mean?
These oceans fall with another silver gleam

Her silver gives me a glimpse of many
Next black diamonds, dark but soft
Then a deep chocolate pair, with a stare unlike any
I sleep and Secret Keeper makes these images above me loft

Then those vivid, shining, silver crystals return
Are they here to haunt me?  Or help me learn?
They come now whenever a passion begins to burn

Vivid, silver, shining, thinking
She stares me down, unblinking.

British Bulldog

I wrote this one for English too, but it makes me laugh so I'm putting it here :)


And yes, this event was at The Queen's birthday party :)

We are standing in two lines on opposite sides of the churchyard. All listening intently for the next call. A number is yelled out. One person from each line darts to the center, aiming for the target. Scrambling, shuffling, dragging, tackle. People shout and jump, yelling out suggestions and acting like maniacs. The object makes it past a boundary line. They have won this round.

We realign and wait again, anxiously. Some praying their number isn’t called. Some like wildcats ready to pounce. I wait in fear that I’ll hear my number. Another number. Not mine, but I watch as another tackling ensues. This pattern continues. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.

Then that dreaded moment. My number is yelled, I reflexively jump to action. My team mate and I are against two from the other team. I quickly analyze my competition. The one person I can really play this game with. My own sister. I go for her. I soon realize being in the mess is just as bad as anticipating it, maybe worse. Talk about gnashing of teeth. No one is getting that object anywhere. And she bit me! Pretty soon more players are called in. This is insane. Shoving, rolling, blocking, so much confusion. I can’t even tell what’s happening. Then we stop, everyone panting. Someone succeeded. I’m too disoriented and out breath to tell who.

My Ocean

Something I wrote for English. And I really like it :)


I remember when I was there. In those fields we call innocence. I remember knowing nothing, but being too happy with smiles and laughter to care....

This building is so big! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find my way around it on my own. And how am I supposed to get from the Seminary building to upper ‘A’ wing in seven minutes? I’m going to be doing a lot of running. Gosh there are so many people! Is it really possible to have someone within twelve inches of you wherever you turn? Lunch comes. Oh my goodness that is NOT a line, that’s a mosh pit. Does it ever end? Where does it go? And once I somehow acquire food, where do I sit? Where are my friends? It’s all so crowded.

It’s been a while. I feel more comfortable in this place now. I know where my classes are and the fastest ways to get to them so I don’t have to run. I know where my friends go so I can meet them between classes. I also know where I might chance to pass a certain someone in the hallway. But I always feel so small when I shyly wave and smile. After one of these moments I kick myself inside and wish I weren’t so silly. Imagine how I feel during the classes I have with this person. Shrinking for close to the entire hour and a half period. Probably reddening whenever he looks at me. I don’t know because I am too embarrassed. And yet I can’t stop smiling.
I went to a football game. I know, me - football? You wouldn’t think. Of course I didn’t go for the game. I don’t even know what’s happening on the field ninety-nine percent of the time. No, I went for my friends. The cheering and jumping, the blare of the winds and the rumble of the drum line... and those smiles. The ones that make me feel like I can fly, but cause me to want to hide away. I smile back of course, but then I shrink, noticeably. Behind my best friend. I’m squirmish, but very happy.

Life goes on. Homework, laughter, friends, smiles, blushing... I’ve probably never been happier. Then it happens. I don’t know exactly when or what precisely triggered it, but my field of innocence was blown away by winds of change. Perhaps it really began long ago when my parents separated. I wasn’t paying enough attention to my own feelings to know then. Maybe it was from learning about my friends stories. Maybe it was my own. Pages of my book that I will never forget. That friendship which taught me so much. It flamed and I was the happiest girl alive. I had never felt that kind of joy before. I felt my life was perfect. Sooner than one may think, that flame got snuffed out. Maybe that’s what changed me.

I began to feel numb. About my friends, my feelings, my conversations, about everything. Nothing seemed quite as real to me as it had before. I went to each class, not knowing how to react to things anymore. I payed no attention to the mosh-pit-lunch-line. It didn’t matter to me. I was too lost in my own thoughts. I still saw my friends in the hallway and greeted them. The numbness persisted.
As I began to regain consciousness and a feeling of reality in life, I came back a different person. More careful, more experienced. I know a lot of my squirmy shyness had left. I felt older. A few of my friends told me they could see a change. That snuffed out flame puffed ashes every once in a while, trying to rekindle. But only cooling itself even more with each puff. My river of life flowed on.
Soon, I not only achieved almost complete realness, my river became a bubbling brook. Splashing, twirling, rushing - it gave me excitement. But the water was different. Like my life had become almost new. I began to love life again. Soon that long lost flame began to spark anew too.
I cannot pinpoint exactly how it happened, or what did it. My field of happy innocence and naivety turned into an ocean of knowledge and pure joy. The winds of change create waves. At times my waters know how to still them. Other times, it lets them come, enjoying that swift excitement of motion. My ocean is so real, so full of life. I cannot help but immerse myself in it every moment.

Secret Keeper

Vivid shining silver eyes

Within her a secret lies

Or many secrets, great and small

She refuses to tell all

She knows all cares

All of feelings and scares

She can make a heart feel dark fright

Or turn on in it golden light

She's the one behind confusion of the mind

Every time it pleads "Oh heart, be kind"

When one doesn't understand, she's the one inside it

Though she'll never admit thereof or confide it

At times it seems she's taken control

Without her knowledge something may not feel whole

                                                                 Vivid shining silver eyes

Within her each secret lies

There must be something that can see through her glow

I've searched, but still

I do not know.

Ttj 

Twin

Crazy Loving Amazing Ironic
Random Ecstatic
I feel the static

She has many faces and many ways
Different feelings on different days
I see her and smile, for in her I find
Parts of myself, pieces of my mind

Her laugh has the brightness of the sun
Her eyes change blue gold green, they are emeralds
She smiles and shines for everyone
As our fast begun friendship unfolds

She knows how to love and how to care
She isn't kidding when saying" "For you I'll be there"
We are so much alike it boggles us both
And so the unwritten Soul Sister oath

A girl like a doe
You feel her vibe graceful and leaping when she's near
Maybe that's why this is so:
When I think of her name, always "Claire dear"

Crazy
Loving
Amazing
Ironic
Random
Ecstatic
I feel the static.

Ttj.

Blushing Smiles

So, I think I've figured out the person who makes me blush the most. Whenever I'm with this person, they always seem to find some way to make me squeemish. This person must really know what would do that, because some things that others get embarrassed about don't affect me... but pretty much any comment this person makes about me or something I did gets to me. Ok, so I'm pretty easily embarrassed, it's my shy side... but for some reason I'm always MORE shy and blushy when I'm around this person. Can anyone guess who it is?

My mom's best friend, Lo. (Oh and Pflower too)

Yep! I dunno how she does it, but it happens. Every time. Like tonight, oh gosh nevermind I'm not sayin'.

My mom says it's because I'm growing up, and they feel they can treat me like a 'contemporary'. Haha, right. I think by now they can just tell what I'd be embarrassed about, grab hold of it, and run. But maybe my madre has a point. Are Lo and Pflower treating me like they would one of their other gal friends? Maybe so. Does that lessen my chances of going red? Nope. Not in the slightest. Aaaand of course my mom goes along with it.
I do admit it makes me laugh... but in an "Oh my goodness gracious change of subject please" kind of way.

Muahaha says the spoon

That's right. A spoon. It's evil. It cut me. At first it didn't bleed, I was just surprised, then it DID start to bleed. And lucky for me, I got to file projects the next period. So, guess.. yeah I had to try my darndest not to touch any of the papers with my still semi bleeding fingertip.
My back has been hurting since the end of school yesterday
I'm pretty darn tuckered out.
BUT enough complaining. Life is actually really good :) Today was a fun day!
I discovered I have another laugh. It's... almost like a cackle, but not quite that evil. Haha :P Gordo was the first to say something after it blurted out, then others heard it and laughed. Oh, that's laugh number..... eight I believe.
It was pretty funny though :) I don't know if I can do it again :P

Layers

A game is less fun when you don't know the players
People are like flowers, layers and layers
Personality, favorites, jokes, a connection
All these things required for a true affection

I was confused but...

I understand now why it seemed just a game
Being unknown players made it... lame
Lame because it was missing a limb
Like strangers, playing on merely a whim

I thought the change was because you were bored
Thought my feelings you deemed ignored
What really happened became very clear
I know to you she feels more dear

I didn't get it but now I see
You know her better than you know me
That's why the switch. Why you felt inclined
It's a love of a different kind

I understand now why it didn't work out
I thank you, my friend, for giving me that shout
Here's the idea we both accept: Let's start over
This spark of good took no four leaf clover

A game is less fun when you don't know the players
People are like flowers, layers and layers

It'll all be ok! Just when I thought it was ending
Now truer smiles from this *better* befriending
So I'll say it once more, to you I'll always be grateful
For again giving me a way to make my heart full

I'm sorry for my previous harsh words
I was an ignorant chirping bird

A game is less fun when you don't know the players
People are like flowers, layers and layers

There's always more to people than what you first see
Finding out that "more" is how friendship is supposed to be

To the jelly! [Hey it actually rhymed this time.. haha :)]

Different Key

Things on those pages not said in a while
I go back and read them, they still make me smile
Memories etched in, now changed by the present
I remember the feelings. So much more than just pleasant.

I knew it would happen, things rearranged
Now my soul is finally changed!

So my heart went back, I promise I still care
And I wonder what feelings were really there...
But I wont sit in this emotion's cell
I'll break free! Things are going well.

Going back, my heart's song rewound
Except now it's in a different key
Oh, how it feels when you're his thoughts only sound
Feels like it's supposed to be...
But it doesn't last, and soon it all falls down!
Things change so quickly
Another pretty girls eyes
And you realize
It wasn't much more than a game
Still I'm glad I played
My happy heart he made
To sing

I don't need a hero, some super-flyer
I have friends who'll stay with me, they take me higher!
I'm happy for him when I see that smile
I hope he can stay that way for a while

Going back, my heart's song rewound
Except now it's in a different key
Oh, how it feels when you're his thoughts only sound
Feels like it's supposed to be...
But it doesn't last, and soon it all falls down!
Things change so quickly
Another pretty girls eyes
And you realize
It wasn't much more than a game
Still I'm glad I played
My happy heart he made
To sing

To the jelly!

The Tale of Lady Corin

My little cousin Sar told me a story. Actually, she told me a few stories and weaved them together somehow. But, I'm going to put down the biggest part of it. It was really, really funny. Sar is super cute! Hopefully I can remember enough to recount the cuteness.

First, I gotta show you what she can do. [Sar moves to the stairs and has her Masquerade barbie walk down them. Doing flips and such.] She can jump and step like this - barbie steps allll the way from the ground to the doorknob - but she always falls down if I don't hold on to her.

-I don't remember exactly what she said next, but it led to this:
Then she got turned into Lady Barbeque! She has this dress, and pink tights. But you can't take the pink tights off [Sar began to whisper] ***because they're painted!***
-Sar walked Lady Barbeque around for a bit, narrating.-
Then she was sitting like this -Sar helps the barbie sit, as well as barbies can.- at a ball. She got up and they called out "Laaady Barbeque!"
[Sar whispered again] ***but her name was really lady Corin!**
-Sar then brought Lady Barbeque-Corin back to the top of the stairs, set her down and:
Then she went down like this -Sar sat on the stairs and slid down, bouncing every other step. Once she got to the bottom of the stairs, she sang a song and did a little discoish dance. I wish I could remember the tune.
"Lady Barbeque!"
one step up
"Lady Corin!"
one step up
"Lady Barbeque!"
one step up
and on to the top of the stairs. I was smiling and laughing the whole time. It was great.
I apologize for not recounting all of the story.. a lot of it was rambling. Cute rambling, but I couldn't remember it all.