Forgiveness in Numbers

Numbers 23.
Remember how I said I was going to post things I'm learning from the Old Testament? Well, sometimes after reading a couple of chapters it's all I can do to try to understand it in the first place, let alone feel all spiritual-magic-learning-mode from it. I suppose that can happen with any book of scripture, but I've found it particularly difficult with the old testament, particularly much of Leviticus and Numbers. So, today as I said a little prayer before I studied, I changed my plea from "help me understand what I read" to:

"Help me get from this study what thou wouldst have me learn."

And, go figure, I got something out of it! I'm currently reading about Balak and Balaam. Don't ask me to tell you which is which, because I haven't gotten that far yet. One of them wanted the other to curse a group of people for him. Israel? Oh, goodness, that doesn't sound right. Again, I'm not perfect at the interpretation part. Well, what ends up being said is: "How shall I curse, whom God hat not cursed? or how shall I defy, whom the Lord hath not defied?" (verse 8). This reminded me of the scripture: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."

God has the authority to decide whether or not a people should be cursed...er, if we pick a less sorcerer way of saying that: He has the authority to decide what happens to people spiritually. Because He knows each and every one of His children. It is not the responsibility of His children to decide those things. It is not our requirement to decide whether or not a person should be forgiven--it is required of us to forgive all men.

I'm glad that the Old Testament can help reinforce other scripture for me.

Until next thought,
Kelsey

Closed

the most open of all
and yet petals stuck
always answer any call
but doesn't each pluck
each unexpected tug
pull a plug
on connection
affection

flowers so delicate they blow in the wind
something so intricate and go shake and blend

walls I thought dismantled
holding steady, afresh
built back up but gentle
is this a test?

Her Own

I was reading a great article today. It was on feeling belonging and fulfillment through our relationship with Christ. There were many things that stuck out to me in it, and I think it would benefit anyone to read it. You can find the full article here.

Right now, though, I want to focus on one aspect of it. It talks about the emotions associated through a relationship with Christ, one of which is that we will feel a sense of belonging. I feel that I've been struggling with connection lately, everything from realizing I haven't had BFFs to rely on lately to learning new twists and turns in my relationship with my husband. I've been trying to pray, ponder, and study this out, and as I was thinking about that this morning, this jumped out to me:

"...belonging [through Christ] seeketh not her own"
(derived from 1Cor 13:5)

Has my yearning for a sense of belonging been self focused? Have I been seeking to fill other's lives with joy or have I been selfishly assuming that it is another's responsibility to do that for me? It's hard not to feel a sense of belonging, but this article taught me that maybe a better sense of belonging comes not when we are seeking it for ourselves, but when we seek to bring it to other people.

A short thought, but full of things to think about.