Mulling Metaphors

Casserole. 
This is reminscent of a term I have used before - emotional smoothie.  Why these terms?  Because they indicate mixed emotions which are potentially complicated and very difficult to dig into, analyze, and come out of in a state of sanity.  Why do I decide to use food for these things?  I'm perfectly capable of coming up with cleaner analogies, to be sure.  But that's just the thing - emotional smoothies (or casseroles) are anything but clean.  They can be unattractive if they are not concocted correctly, and definitely a big mess if they are ever spilled.
Why a casserole, then?  Emotional smoothies look uniform because of the fact that they are blended.  In casseroles, on the other hand, you can usually see the pieces they consist of distinctly.  This should mean that a casserole is easier to "pick apart" - well, maybe yes, but also potentially much harder to digest.

Mull that metaphor over if you so desire.

Many things have been going through my head as of late.  I have had trouble focusing because of them.  As I have been trying to pick apart and digest these many things, I have realized that a lot of the poems I have created in the past - and all of the thoughts behind them - can be combined to describe the current state of my mind and of my heart.

So I have linked my thoughts to those poems. (Literally, linked.  As in hyperlink.  Feel free.)

One thought that has been on repeat in my mind is that I fall short of the things I need to do, be, and become.  That I am not enough.  Then there comes a wondering of the honesty of the words I here.  On top of this, the tension created in certain situations - a tension that exists because of my inability to conquer my own emotional wall.  After all of that, I am filled with the hope that things will turn out all right, the tension subside, and that clarity will return.  As I invite the Lord into my mind and thoughts, this hope turns into a comforting assurance, and leads to a feeling of determination to become the way I need to be in order to succesfully continue.

This determination leads to a feeling of a new start, a new beginning.  This is generally a good thing, but can be frustrating when one doesn't quite know how to pick up and start afresh.  It is like my heart and mind are keeping secrets from me, and I have next to no idea how to find them.

Then I am reminded...
...to invite, like I mentioned before
...of the people around me who Love me and are aware just how to help
...that I have found ways in the past to figure out how to start afresh, and that I am capable of doing it.

The fact that my current state of being seems to be a combination of all of my emotional smoothies of the past is a bit overwhelming.  A combination of smoothies?  That definitely does not sound like a very appealing casserole.

Trust me, it isn't.

But I am figuring out how to choose the correct ingredients to make the best kind of casserole.  It will be a result of newfound knowledge and practice.  I'm not sure exactly how long it will take to perfect its recipe, but I have a feeling I already have a fairly good start.

Here's another issue, though.  How does something made of strings create a casserole?

Because I'm still in that state of being as well.

Strings

A violin and its perfect sound take time to tune just right
To resonate and come out full
And when each is stretched - but not too tight
The song is guaranteed to pull

On a heart-string
A clearer, stronger
Beat.
Never before such singing
That would each dissonant
Defeat.

Each note hums along
Deepened mote
Bridge drawn

Built inside our natures to seek
Similarly innate to let it leak
Feasible when it leaves a piece broken
This irreplaceable, priceless token

There is a problem with strings
They are breakable things
Too wound and snap they must
Leaving a note-less dust

Let the air flow through your veins
Any spill forever stains
Is it melting when it rains?
Rinsing out the dusty pains

A custom bow made string by string
A new tune
Begins to sing
Is it too soon
To let it ring?

Feasible that it leaves a string broken
This irreplaceable, priceless token

Just what I needed

The Lord really knows just how to help us when we are struggling.  Earlier this week, I was having a particularly difficult evening, struggling to stay motivated and feeling very down on myself.  I turned to my scriptures, knowing that simply reading them would calm my spirits.  I was not expecting to find what I did.

First of all, here is a little background.  We are still in Romans – so we know this is a pretty happy letter (because Paul gives thanks at the beginning).  Paul is still on the topic of the law, how it cannot save us, and the importance of the atonement.  He teaches how using the atonement and being close to Christ – a.k.a being “spiritually minded” – will bring us “life and peace” (Romans 8:6).  In verse 17, Paul reiterates that we become Christ’s children, as well as heirs, when we have faith in Him and use His atonement.  However, this time he adds a requirement of us: “and if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may also be glorified together.” (Romans 8:17).  When we repent and use His atonement, it can be painful, as repenting isn’t meant to be easy.  Because of His sacrifice for us, it is mercifully easier than suffering for our sins would be without Him, but it is still a struggle we go through.  This is one way we can suffer with Christ: when we repent, we involve Him in our changing process and literally suffer with Him.  
Another way we can suffer with Christ is by involving Him in our lives, especially in times of hardship and struggle.  When we do this, a load is taken off our shoulders, and we are incredibly blessed, simply for asking Him to help us through, in other words, asking Him to suffer with us.  He is more than willing to do this for us, in fact, he wishes all of us would open the door and let Him be involved.  When we do this, we will be very blessed and our burdens will be made immensely easier to carry. 

In the next verse, Paul illustrates this point: “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18).  This verse struck me very deeply.  It resonates with the truth of all I have learned about the atonement.  When we use the atonement, we suffer with Christ.  When we suffer with Christ, He makes our burdens lighter and blesses us for our efforts to come closer to Him through our trials.  In addition, He changes us and makes us better – revealing the glory in us, as this verse suggests.

Christ will help us through our most trying times, and not only will He help us, but he will make us better, stronger, more dedicated disciples in the process.  I am so grateful for the message of this verse.  It came just when I needed it, and provided me with great hope, comfort, dedication, and an increased Love for our Savior and His prophets.

Thank you, Paul, for providing these words so that the Lord and His Spirit could guide me to them.