You put me at a loss for words
I wish I could say things you've never heard
The kinds of things that would make you smile
Things you would want to save
But because I don't always have those on file
I'll have to show you by how I behave
My actions, in part, tell you how I feel
They convey the thoughts of my heart, and them seal.
I wish I could say so much more
As I stare to my darkened door
But I know it must needs be enough
As I write by this dim, flickering light
And also glance up at the glow of the moon
I am thinking mostly of things that are happy tonight
And wish to be dreaming of you soon
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Prick
A Rosebud, commonly beautiful, pieces in wait to open
Pieces because she cannot completely comprehend her full potential
But is vibrant, surviving only with each token
Each of smiles, laughter, love...
Adoring looks from eyes above her place
In the ground, where she stands firm
Firm, save the winds that may sway her
Or the occasional rain that can disturb her soil and wear her down.
But, during her season, the sun more often is out
Though she has no mouth, she would sing and shout.
Oh, but what of the thorns?
Though she may sit in happy display
She will wilt at the dismay
When she finds a prick she's caused
For some only a prick, but for some more a rip
Originating from that small but potentially painful tip.
Dismay, much dismay. Maybe somewhat concealed
Must figure a way to make this rip healed.
It hurts her inside that most glowing exterior
If she can't fix this, she must be inferior
Inferior of at least what thought she could become
Maybe these petals will never fully blossom
A Rosebud, commonly beautiful, pieces in wait to open
Pieces because she cannot completely comprehend her full potential
But is vibrant, surviving only with each token
Pieces because she cannot completely comprehend her full potential
But is vibrant, surviving only with each token
Each of smiles, laughter, love...
Adoring looks from eyes above her place
In the ground, where she stands firm
Firm, save the winds that may sway her
Or the occasional rain that can disturb her soil and wear her down.
But, during her season, the sun more often is out
Though she has no mouth, she would sing and shout.
Oh, but what of the thorns?
Though she may sit in happy display
She will wilt at the dismay
When she finds a prick she's caused
For some only a prick, but for some more a rip
Originating from that small but potentially painful tip.
Dismay, much dismay. Maybe somewhat concealed
Must figure a way to make this rip healed.
It hurts her inside that most glowing exterior
If she can't fix this, she must be inferior
Inferior of at least what thought she could become
Maybe these petals will never fully blossom
A Rosebud, commonly beautiful, pieces in wait to open
Pieces because she cannot completely comprehend her full potential
But is vibrant, surviving only with each token
Shining Demise
An Edgar Allen Poe style poem, written by Potatoes and yours truly, for Snyder's class. I've never written something.. dark.. before. We had fun writing this.... muahaha :)
Hand upon this gruesome sore, I’ve collapsed here on the floor.
As I’m crawling out the door, escaping her echoed yell.
Running from my home once dear, every creaking limb I hear
And I cannot help but fear if this abandoned path should end well.
If to darkness it may steer, how much more of my story is there to tell?
Or when will I escape this hell?
From each tangly, gnarled tree, I every so often hear a plea
As if they’re calling me to see some unknown perilous end.
A tortured spirit I seem to sense, I cannot ignore it’s presence
Or is all this only false pretense? Is my mind only playing pretend?
As I walk these dusk ridden woods, a light from the brush appears through the blend
My feet through these leaves, I send.
I enter, and see a clearing so bright, filled with a strangely eerie light.
I shudder at this contrary sight, for a moment it makes me go blind.
I can’t decide quite how to feel, this psychedelic glow makes my head reel
I sense that away all this light will soon peel, causing only darkness to be left behind.
Like the calm before the storm, peace and tension combined.
Soon torment, correct? Or am I losing my mind?
I then see, in the direct center of this illumination, a delicate flower - bizarre creation.
Can it be no more than imagination? Any ounce of reason my mind seems to lack.
It’s petals are velvet, and seem to shimmer. Did this blossom appear as a hopeful glimmer?
No. Now, at hope that I thought couldn’t get any slimmer, some invisible force seemed to hack.
Still I follow further this mysterious track, even as each twig I step on warns with a loud crack
Of this entrancing rose - black.
Suddenly my vision went dark. Then snowy white, cold, and stark.
A writhing being came in to my view, and over the scene a bold sign.
Twas an image of the rose, only it’s petals were closed
An unseen power this picture proposed, I felt soon this cursed fate would be mine.
The pain then struck me! Oh, punishment divine!
And thus my end. My death I did find.
Now we go back to that once called home, inside there she sat, alone.
Looking on this scene with malignant tone - then so quick you can’t see with your eyes
It did cease to exist. Now, that forest setting you may miss
Does not here desist. It cane back, with the same shrubby disguise
There appears that same clearing with the black flower, and sits in wait for the next one to surprise
With this Shining Demise.
Hand upon this gruesome sore, I’ve collapsed here on the floor.
As I’m crawling out the door, escaping her echoed yell.
Running from my home once dear, every creaking limb I hear
And I cannot help but fear if this abandoned path should end well.
If to darkness it may steer, how much more of my story is there to tell?
Or when will I escape this hell?
From each tangly, gnarled tree, I every so often hear a plea
As if they’re calling me to see some unknown perilous end.
A tortured spirit I seem to sense, I cannot ignore it’s presence
Or is all this only false pretense? Is my mind only playing pretend?
As I walk these dusk ridden woods, a light from the brush appears through the blend
My feet through these leaves, I send.
I enter, and see a clearing so bright, filled with a strangely eerie light.
I shudder at this contrary sight, for a moment it makes me go blind.
I can’t decide quite how to feel, this psychedelic glow makes my head reel
I sense that away all this light will soon peel, causing only darkness to be left behind.
Like the calm before the storm, peace and tension combined.
Soon torment, correct? Or am I losing my mind?
I then see, in the direct center of this illumination, a delicate flower - bizarre creation.
Can it be no more than imagination? Any ounce of reason my mind seems to lack.
It’s petals are velvet, and seem to shimmer. Did this blossom appear as a hopeful glimmer?
No. Now, at hope that I thought couldn’t get any slimmer, some invisible force seemed to hack.
Still I follow further this mysterious track, even as each twig I step on warns with a loud crack
Of this entrancing rose - black.
Suddenly my vision went dark. Then snowy white, cold, and stark.
A writhing being came in to my view, and over the scene a bold sign.
Twas an image of the rose, only it’s petals were closed
An unseen power this picture proposed, I felt soon this cursed fate would be mine.
The pain then struck me! Oh, punishment divine!
And thus my end. My death I did find.
Now we go back to that once called home, inside there she sat, alone.
Looking on this scene with malignant tone - then so quick you can’t see with your eyes
It did cease to exist. Now, that forest setting you may miss
Does not here desist. It cane back, with the same shrubby disguise
There appears that same clearing with the black flower, and sits in wait for the next one to surprise
With this Shining Demise.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Falling Down and There's You
Yes, this is the one I was talking about before. I'm posting it now.
Like watching a clock from side to side
The pendulum comes into view half the time
I don't think there was really a first moment
No first look or fleeting glance
It seems to me it was every moment
And I think it's not by chance
You always stood out to me.
To let the feeling go I knew
I couldn't even begin to try
I ever so slightly gave up
Put out a wall between you and I
I now hear my heart's outcry
*My head is dizzy
My heart is flustered
I can't find words to tell you
Love's in the making
That wall is breaking
Falling down, falling down and there's you
It's falling down and there's you*
Your arms around me, I half in slumber
How or when this came
I hardly take thought to wonder
And as the night whisks by
Toward heaven I seem to fly
(stanza with stars around it)
The pendulum comes into view
My wall is breaking and there's you
Like watching a clock from side to side
The pendulum comes into view half the time
I don't think there was really a first moment
No first look or fleeting glance
It seems to me it was every moment
And I think it's not by chance
You always stood out to me.
To let the feeling go I knew
I couldn't even begin to try
I ever so slightly gave up
Put out a wall between you and I
I now hear my heart's outcry
*My head is dizzy
My heart is flustered
I can't find words to tell you
Love's in the making
That wall is breaking
Falling down, falling down and there's you
It's falling down and there's you*
Your arms around me, I half in slumber
How or when this came
I hardly take thought to wonder
And as the night whisks by
Toward heaven I seem to fly
(stanza with stars around it)
The pendulum comes into view
My wall is breaking and there's you
Dear Heart,
I'm still caught in that moment
Encircled in your warm embrace
My fears, the cold, it did chase... away.
Dear Heart, am I afraid?
Are the crumbled pieces of that wall
Causing me to slip or fall?
If you would only tell me all, oh dear heart.
How did I start to feel this way?
Seems so simple and so clean
But I don't know what it means!
Could you help me with this please, oh, dear heart?
And although my thoughts are tangles
To you my heart has this to say
Chorus: Your voice sends the butterflies turnin' and
Your eyes let me know my heart's burnin'
My burdened mind, when will all confusion be spent?
Your embrace takes my fears, makes them rent.
Your smile sends my soul soaring and
Your laugh just gets me adoring
I wish I knew what to say besides this.
Dear heart let me know if there's anything I've missed.
Been hearing these words since we part:
Your name tickles my heart.
Precisely like this I haven't felt before
Enchantment. Is that all?
What is this, really?
Dear heart is there more?
[Chorus again]
Your voice sends the butterflies turnin' and
Your eyes let me know my heart's burnin'
My burdened mind, oh these tangles please clear
So I can know if that feeling is here!
Your smile sends my heart soaring and
Your laugh just gets me adoring
I hope these words full explanation impart
This is true for me too:
Your name tickles my heart.
[Chorus again]
Encircled in your warm embrace
My fears, the cold, it did chase... away.
Dear Heart, am I afraid?
Are the crumbled pieces of that wall
Causing me to slip or fall?
If you would only tell me all, oh dear heart.
How did I start to feel this way?
Seems so simple and so clean
But I don't know what it means!
Could you help me with this please, oh, dear heart?
And although my thoughts are tangles
To you my heart has this to say
Chorus: Your voice sends the butterflies turnin' and
Your eyes let me know my heart's burnin'
My burdened mind, when will all confusion be spent?
Your embrace takes my fears, makes them rent.
Your smile sends my soul soaring and
Your laugh just gets me adoring
I wish I knew what to say besides this.
Dear heart let me know if there's anything I've missed.
Been hearing these words since we part:
Your name tickles my heart.
Precisely like this I haven't felt before
Enchantment. Is that all?
What is this, really?
Dear heart is there more?
[Chorus again]
Your voice sends the butterflies turnin' and
Your eyes let me know my heart's burnin'
My burdened mind, oh these tangles please clear
So I can know if that feeling is here!
Your smile sends my heart soaring and
Your laugh just gets me adoring
I hope these words full explanation impart
This is true for me too:
Your name tickles my heart.
[Chorus again]
Druuuuuuuggedd......
As most of you know, I got my wisdom teeth out on my birthday. Don't feel sorry, it's not so bad. Here's what I was acting like just after I woke up at the hospital, my mom told me all of this.
"We waited for nearly an hour for the doctor to come in. When he did, he put in the IV so quickly and smoothly, you didn't feel it at all. (There's something in my arm??)
He gave you valium through the IV, which he said would make you feel loopy. Then he gave you the sedative, and said you'd start to feel sleepy. Your speech started to slur almost immediately. You said, "I don't feel sleepy, I don't think it's having any effect on me." The nurse smiled and said, "You don't think it's working?" No, you answered. Then the doctor said, "Well, try counting backward from 100." "Okay. One hundred.....(long pause)... 89... mumble.... mumble..." The nurse laughed. "Did she just say '100, 89'? You eyes fluttered, you mumbled very softly, and you were gone.
It only took them about 30 minutes to pull the teeth. It took you at least another 30 minutes to wake up. When I came into the recovery room, you said "I was thinking about JB. You know, the one who plays the guitar?" You made an air guitar gesture under the blanket they'd covered you with. Then you mumbled really fast, and Icouldn't understand you. I heard "Christmas" and "Facebook", but that's about all I could get. A few moments later, you said "Is Potatoes here? I though he was here." You made blinking motions with your hands in front of your face, and asked if you could open your eyes now.
You were confused that you couldn't close your mouth all the way, that something was stopping it. I told you it was because you had gauze in you mouth. "I have gauze in my mouth?!?" That conversation was repeated at least five more times.
You told me I looked like Turtle.
With your eyes closed, you asked "Am I on facebook? Because I swear I'm looking at the Facebook page, and I'm scrolling down with this hand."
You were worried that you coulnd't feel your feet. [Insert! I remember thinking "This remind me of The Princess Bride, when Westly had just taken the Resurrection pill and couldn't move yet. End of insert.]
The nurse was giving me all the post-op instructions, and you wouldn't stop talking. She kept trying to tell you that you needed to stop talking, because it was moving the gauze in your mouth. "I have gauze in my mouth?!?"
You told me to film you, and I told you I hadn't brought my camera. "Is it in the car?" "No, I left it at home."
"Then I'll film myself whie you drive home." "Honey, I didn't bring my camera." "But it's in the car, right?" You asked me two or three more times where my camera was.
The nurse had you sit in a wheelchair so she could take you out to the car. You seemed mostly awake when you got in the car. I covered you with a blanket and turned on the heater. I told you it would be best to just stay quiet and rest for a little while. "But I'm not tired." You fell asleep almost immediately. Once we were nearly home, you woke up and said, "How did I get in the car?"
By the time we got home, you weren't very "funny" anymore. You ate some mashed banana and a yogurt drink, then you fell asleep for a couple hours. Around 8:30, you woke up in a lot of pain. You ate small survings of tomato soup, mashed potatoes, mashed avocado, ice cream, and applesauce. "Whoah, that's a lot of applesauce." Sixty seconds later, you'd polished the whole thing off. I gave you Lortab and Phenergan, and you were geeling much better within about 15 minutes.
I really do wish I'd had my carea at the doctor's office. You were hillarious."
Yeah, I wish that too, mom. :P
I can't post the vids of me once I got home yet. They're on the computer at my moms house, I'll post them later. They're funny :) and a bit embarrassing, but hey, I was on drugs :)
"We waited for nearly an hour for the doctor to come in. When he did, he put in the IV so quickly and smoothly, you didn't feel it at all. (There's something in my arm??)
He gave you valium through the IV, which he said would make you feel loopy. Then he gave you the sedative, and said you'd start to feel sleepy. Your speech started to slur almost immediately. You said, "I don't feel sleepy, I don't think it's having any effect on me." The nurse smiled and said, "You don't think it's working?" No, you answered. Then the doctor said, "Well, try counting backward from 100." "Okay. One hundred.....(long pause)... 89... mumble.... mumble..." The nurse laughed. "Did she just say '100, 89'? You eyes fluttered, you mumbled very softly, and you were gone.
It only took them about 30 minutes to pull the teeth. It took you at least another 30 minutes to wake up. When I came into the recovery room, you said "I was thinking about JB. You know, the one who plays the guitar?" You made an air guitar gesture under the blanket they'd covered you with. Then you mumbled really fast, and Icouldn't understand you. I heard "Christmas" and "Facebook", but that's about all I could get. A few moments later, you said "Is Potatoes here? I though he was here." You made blinking motions with your hands in front of your face, and asked if you could open your eyes now.
You were confused that you couldn't close your mouth all the way, that something was stopping it. I told you it was because you had gauze in you mouth. "I have gauze in my mouth?!?" That conversation was repeated at least five more times.
You told me I looked like Turtle.
With your eyes closed, you asked "Am I on facebook? Because I swear I'm looking at the Facebook page, and I'm scrolling down with this hand."
You were worried that you coulnd't feel your feet. [Insert! I remember thinking "This remind me of The Princess Bride, when Westly had just taken the Resurrection pill and couldn't move yet. End of insert.]
The nurse was giving me all the post-op instructions, and you wouldn't stop talking. She kept trying to tell you that you needed to stop talking, because it was moving the gauze in your mouth. "I have gauze in my mouth?!?"
You told me to film you, and I told you I hadn't brought my camera. "Is it in the car?" "No, I left it at home."
"Then I'll film myself whie you drive home." "Honey, I didn't bring my camera." "But it's in the car, right?" You asked me two or three more times where my camera was.
The nurse had you sit in a wheelchair so she could take you out to the car. You seemed mostly awake when you got in the car. I covered you with a blanket and turned on the heater. I told you it would be best to just stay quiet and rest for a little while. "But I'm not tired." You fell asleep almost immediately. Once we were nearly home, you woke up and said, "How did I get in the car?"
By the time we got home, you weren't very "funny" anymore. You ate some mashed banana and a yogurt drink, then you fell asleep for a couple hours. Around 8:30, you woke up in a lot of pain. You ate small survings of tomato soup, mashed potatoes, mashed avocado, ice cream, and applesauce. "Whoah, that's a lot of applesauce." Sixty seconds later, you'd polished the whole thing off. I gave you Lortab and Phenergan, and you were geeling much better within about 15 minutes.
I really do wish I'd had my carea at the doctor's office. You were hillarious."
Yeah, I wish that too, mom. :P
I can't post the vids of me once I got home yet. They're on the computer at my moms house, I'll post them later. They're funny :) and a bit embarrassing, but hey, I was on drugs :)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
"It's complicated."
I'm so glad I decided to take notes in church today. I think I'll do that every week now, I get more out of it that way. Call me a goody-two-shoes if you like, but yes, I'm going to take notes in church (: and there's nothin you can do about it!
It was a farewell, but the missionaries talk isn't what struck me. I'm just going to say a couple words from his - There are many rakes to be leaved. Pahaha.
Ok, the one who I took more notes on was his dad. Funny thing is, his dad didn't even know he'd be speaking on his son's farewell day, he had been told far back he'd be speaking for our ward. He's a stake somethin or other. And I really needed to hear what he had to say today.. cool how that works, eh? (: Here's his message:
People always say "Oh it's a lot more complicated than that." about life. But really, it isn't. Love the Lord thy God, love thy neighboor as thyself, it's not "a lot more complicated than that." People make things too complicated, we get involved in complicated things, when really, it *isn't* that complicated. The Lord loves us, he is love, and we need to remember that. *Simply* [oppostie of complicated] understand that love and success will be almost automatic.
There's a real short version of what he said, and he spoke of other things too, because he was talking about missionary work, but this part is the part I needed. He's right, people make things complicated, and it really doesn't need to be. My mind has been confuzzled lately, but thinking about what Brother D said I'm finding my mind a little less frustrating. I'll just.. live. Live and remember the Lord's love for me.. and love other's.. then really, I'm good. For the most part anyway.
It was a farewell, but the missionaries talk isn't what struck me. I'm just going to say a couple words from his - There are many rakes to be leaved. Pahaha.
Ok, the one who I took more notes on was his dad. Funny thing is, his dad didn't even know he'd be speaking on his son's farewell day, he had been told far back he'd be speaking for our ward. He's a stake somethin or other. And I really needed to hear what he had to say today.. cool how that works, eh? (: Here's his message:
People always say "Oh it's a lot more complicated than that." about life. But really, it isn't. Love the Lord thy God, love thy neighboor as thyself, it's not "a lot more complicated than that." People make things too complicated, we get involved in complicated things, when really, it *isn't* that complicated. The Lord loves us, he is love, and we need to remember that. *Simply* [oppostie of complicated] understand that love and success will be almost automatic.
There's a real short version of what he said, and he spoke of other things too, because he was talking about missionary work, but this part is the part I needed. He's right, people make things complicated, and it really doesn't need to be. My mind has been confuzzled lately, but thinking about what Brother D said I'm finding my mind a little less frustrating. I'll just.. live. Live and remember the Lord's love for me.. and love other's.. then really, I'm good. For the most part anyway.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
MY MOM AND DAD TEACH ME THE GOSPEL.
That was Kallie. Aw man, you gotta love primary kids. The primary program is so fun to watch. Little kids are SO cute.
Firstly, that Kallie girl? She likes to sing. Loud. Problem is, she only remembers every fifth word, and it's usually 2 seconds too late. So we get this funny one child echo during every song.
There are lots of cute things about those kids, but I just picked out some of the ones that made me laugh the most [mostly inside, but sometimes I just couldn't keep it in, oops.]
~ "The famnee is orgained of Dod." -- Grayson
~ Sweet Boy Swindler [at least, I think that's the one] pulling quotes out of his head. Literally. He was making a little fist on his forehead and withdrawing it when he tried to remember it.
~ Sophie waving at people in the congregation, then turning to her teacher bashfully. "oops.."
~ 'Fewf, I'm done... oops! forgot to smile!' DING! -- Quincey
~ Hand gestures. No, I'm serious. Breezers was in her own little world, using her own little sign language.
~ I never knew John 3:5 began with "scoot over"
~ "I think being baptized is WAY cool and I can't wait 'til it's my turn." Brook
~ You must say "The temple is a house of God" very fast for full affect. According to Quincy that is.
~ "Grandpa Swinder read the whole book [of mormon] very quickly, trying to find a way to prove it wrong. He soon found out it was all true. Grandma was annoyed." --Atticus Swindler
Last but definitely not least...
"Oh I love how this microphone doesn't make krinkley noises!" -- Sammy
Firstly, that Kallie girl? She likes to sing. Loud. Problem is, she only remembers every fifth word, and it's usually 2 seconds too late. So we get this funny one child echo during every song.
There are lots of cute things about those kids, but I just picked out some of the ones that made me laugh the most [mostly inside, but sometimes I just couldn't keep it in, oops.]
~ "The famnee is orgained of Dod." -- Grayson
~ Sweet Boy Swindler [at least, I think that's the one] pulling quotes out of his head. Literally. He was making a little fist on his forehead and withdrawing it when he tried to remember it.
~ Sophie waving at people in the congregation, then turning to her teacher bashfully. "oops.."
~ 'Fewf, I'm done... oops! forgot to smile!' DING! -- Quincey
~ Hand gestures. No, I'm serious. Breezers was in her own little world, using her own little sign language.
~ I never knew John 3:5 began with "scoot over"
~ "I think being baptized is WAY cool and I can't wait 'til it's my turn." Brook
~ You must say "The temple is a house of God" very fast for full affect. According to Quincy that is.
~ "Grandpa Swinder read the whole book [of mormon] very quickly, trying to find a way to prove it wrong. He soon found out it was all true. Grandma was annoyed." --Atticus Swindler
Last but definitely not least...
"Oh I love how this microphone doesn't make krinkley noises!" -- Sammy
Monday, November 9, 2009
....The Teddy Bear Ones... (:
I was such a silly little kid. Still am a lot of the time :) My mom told me this story just tonight, and I have to post it 'cause it made me laugh.
Little Stripes is sitting behind the banister upstairs, at eye level with mommy. It's time to get ready for bed, actually, probably past time, and what is little stripes doing? Playing with toys, off in her own little world...
Mom - Are you getting ready for bed?
Little Stripes - Yes mommy.
Mom - Are you putting your PJs on?
Little Stripes - Yes mommy.
Mom - Which ones are you putting on?
Little Stripes - .... The teddy bear ones.
Mom - Kelsey, look at me.
Little Stripes then realizes that mommy is looking straight at her while she's playing with her toys. Woopsie (:
Little Stripes is sitting behind the banister upstairs, at eye level with mommy. It's time to get ready for bed, actually, probably past time, and what is little stripes doing? Playing with toys, off in her own little world...
Mom - Are you getting ready for bed?
Little Stripes - Yes mommy.
Mom - Are you putting your PJs on?
Little Stripes - Yes mommy.
Mom - Which ones are you putting on?
Little Stripes - .... The teddy bear ones.
Mom - Kelsey, look at me.
Little Stripes then realizes that mommy is looking straight at her while she's playing with her toys. Woopsie (:
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