Title courtesy of adorable Bri~. We were playing with Legos, and he was telling me about his Lego guns:
"This one is so huge it can esplode this WHOLE HOUSE!!"
He says many cute and funny things, most of which I forget before long, but they still make me happy - and this one has relevance to the rest of the post. Hey, sometimes things actually make sense. What a relief.
My family is in California this week. Why? Because some of us are moving there. Jules' house in Utah is all cleared out. The Muffin described it as a carcass. Some things were sold, some given away, and most loaded into a UHAUL and totted across the state, er, states.
After a very long drive, and very much wanting to plop down on the first bed or couch I could find, I was told we would be unloading this UHAUL - tonight. A little flustered, and definitely more than a little impatient, I dutifully trudged outside to help, probably mumbling about my anger and fatigue...
Jules: "Kiki, chill out."
Kiki: *exhales* "I'm chill."
Jules: "That's my girl."
And so, we unloaded.
Then, when we were done, the house looked like, well,
ESPLODED.
(Heh, I rhymed.)
Boxes. Furniture. Bags. More boxes. EVERYWHERE.
But it was all inside. Well, except the stuff that was put in the shed... or on the back porch.
I was so so tired and frustrated. When we were just about done, I sobbed out of exhaustion. The Muffin plopped down a mattress that we had just dragged in amongst the other furniture, slapped on a sheet and a blanket, and I went to bed.
It's been a little crazy trying to organize things and function in this little "esplosion", but my family is a group of troopers, so we're doing okay.
At the same time, I feel like I'M going to esplode. There is so much going through my head.
Decisions to make.
Things to convince myself I'm okay with.
Things I'm really *not* okay with that I need to figure out how to fix.
Worry about things that may soon change.
Peace from the previous worry because of the powerful comfort of the Lord through the Holy Ghost.
Conversations with Grandma (who I am very grateful for, by the way).
Trying to concentrate on only the good.
More decisions.
And a heck-of-a-lot of self analyzing.
Esplode This Whole ME.
But it's all going to be okay, because even when it seems no-one else GETS IT (and trust me, it seems like this a lot), I know one person who does. He is the one who has given me the consistent, unceasing, and powerful comfort I have needed in this crazy life. He is, or rather, they are, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. How grateful I am.
"And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times,
It's YOU, it's you,
You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word,
You're everything."
(This song just esploded with meaning for me.)
He is everything, and I could not, COULD NOT go on without Him.
I also could not go on without my friends who cheer me up and support me. Thank you.
Onward and upward in this esploding life of mine. Cheers.
<3Kiki
